Posts Tagged ‘Rants’

Heads Will Roll

I’m always a bit shocked when people say they hated history in school, and don’t devour it now in their spare time. What’s the matter with you? History is awesome, and I feel like I should convert a part of this front page into telling you how awesome it is. Basically, every moment of your […]

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Mortality Slave

The only reason I follow you on Facebook is because I’m secretly hoping you’ll die or experience some horrible tragedy. Sometimes, that’s the only thing that keeps me going. The hope that one of my Facebook friends has been visited by some awful dark angel and, right there in front of me, I get to […]

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On Nacho…

I have to update the GS blog because Amazon says they’ll ban me if I don’t. I don’t know if I actually care about it. It was just such a chastising sort of email. Like I’m the bad guy as opposed to the fact that they are Satan incarnate. But…that’s fine. Here’s the goddamned link […]

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Slavery for Fun and Profit

About a year ago, I discovered Slavery Footprint, which tracks the “virtual” slaves behind our posh lives here in the world’s last, great empire. Because I’m a Luddite who wears the same clothes for 20 years (or until they fall to pieces like some sort of lunatic castaway leaping around on the shore of an […]

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Confessions

Between 1992-1995, I stole $30,000 from the County, and it felt good.

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The Commander

I was the third generation of my family to go to our eye doctor, Dr. Bradley. A Navy man! Old Commander Bradley! He’ll fix you right up. He worked on my grandparents, their kids, and then we hit my generation and his one time humble office had turned into a bustling, popular practice with four […]

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Get in there, boy!

The question asked one happy hour was: If you could go back and give your 18 year old self one piece of advice, what would it be? Everyone had the usual answers like invest in Google or whatever. I think that’s the 40 year old in all of us talking. I think we should pause […]

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Dead by 25

I was fool enough at a New Year’s party to ask a group of friends where, 20 years ago, they imagined they would be in 2013. Most folks had an answer, the usual stuff, and, as we went around the circle and my turn approached, I realized that I thought I’d be dead long before […]

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Elephant

This post is about the fucking Sandy Hook bullshit, and all those kids who died. Stop now if you’ve had enough of that fucking shit. Because I have.

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The Strokes

I read the other day that dolphins are the only other animals on earth that masturbate for pleasure. Which sort of put a whole new spin on “sailor’s best friend,” eh? There you are bobbing in the ocean as your ship goes down and here comes a dolphin — kikikiki — and the dolphin lets […]

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