The King of Farts
I knew this kid in high school who was obsessed with poop. He’d measure every one of his shits – not just the quantity but the consistency. He’d fish out his turds and analyze them based on a series of …
Tag: childhood
Writing Break
I’ve finished a 380 page memoir about my family. I didn’t plan on that… The original plan was to write a 100 page “memoir” that, primarily, answered the one big question — what the fuck was up with your parents, …
You were one strange kid, Nacho (Part Three: false starts)
In October, I was forced to move. In the move, I found a bunch of old floppy discs from high school that were packed with horrifying examples of my childhood prose and poetry. Now, I post it to the front …
You were one strange kid, Nacho (Part Three: false starts) Read more »
You were one strange kid, Nacho (Part Two: The Land of Scum)
Last week on Nacho TV…
You were one strange kid, Nacho (Part One: White Queen, Black Heart)
On October 5th my apartment flooded out and I had to move and the last six weeks have been generally awful. While I was going through everything and trying to salvage the enormous mountains of hoarder trash I appear to …
You were one strange kid, Nacho (Part One: White Queen, Black Heart) Read more »
Notes from a family history…
I’ve spent most of my life waiting for people to die. In my family, death is the only possible way for the living to find closure and peace. In life, there is no middle ground with my family. Grudges are …
Anger
I was in New York with friends in the early 90’s shortly after I cranked out the second half of the Boble. At the time, I was running a tiny little publishing company called Purple Publications, where I put together …
Haste Makes Waste
I learned my “haste makes waste” lesson from Catherine Tolnay, my 4th grade teacher at my Catholic grade school. And I hope she died a lonely death at the end of a hard, empty life.
The voice across the line
A couple of friends have recently told me that I need to talk about my problems. All the childhood madness, all the fears, all the things that cripple me emotionally. If I talk about these things, then they’ll have no …
Tommy the Poop Man
When I was a kid, I used to think there was a little man in my stomach who was responsible for handling all of the poop. Day after day, there he was, at the bottom of my stomach, surrounded by …