Posts Tagged ‘Wage Slave’

Scrum Master

For the first time in 17 years, I’ve put a resume together and started shopping for a new job. But, of course, I’m a 40-something with a BA in history. Not exactly employable. Going on the job circuit has been an odd experience.


It should come as a surprise to no one that my intense, decade-and-a-half-long hatred for my day job has spilled over into my performance and finally been noticed by my supervisors.

When you say ‘Fantastic’

I once knew this guy, my grandfather’s friend. When I was a boy he came by to visit every once in a while and he and my grandfather would sit out on the side porch and drink iced tea, talking late into the night. My grandfather’s house was in upper Silver Spring, MD, on a […]

Talk Hard…or…Whatever

I watched Pump up the Volume the other day. Just for old time’s sake. In 2012, when the movie turned 25, it sort of re-entered the collective consciousness of geekdom with several retrospective articles. I haven’t bothered to sit down and watch the whole movie for maybe 10-15 years, though. Which I think is a […]

Gentle Reminder

When did it become popular for everyone to send an email saying “gentle reminder” or “friendly reminder”? When did the American workplace become infected with this institutionalized passive-aggression? Because that’s the only way to read it, right? “Gentle Reminder” to a normal person means “What the fuck, Charlie? The whole team has fucking finished their […]

The Cake Collector

My weekend job… Jesus. For 21 years I worked as the house manager/event coordinator at an old mansion in the suburbs of DC. Weddings, memorials, bar mitzvahs, birthdays, everything. Every event was so similar in theme and approach, I just called it the “wedding job.” Even if it was a fucking christening, it felt like […]

Wage Slave

Almost two years ago, I switched jobs at my idiotic company. I moved from the customer service arena to something (seemingly) far more rewarding that did not involve fucking customer service. It’s taken me this long to fully come to terms with this switch, and reach an emotional mindset that allowed me to fully parse […]

I Do

I’ve been invited to my girlfriend’s cousin’s roommate’s something or other wedding in Arizona in June. I know that probably doesn’t sound noteworthy but, for me, it’s a big deal. This stranger’s wedding will be the first time I’ll go to a wedding as, simply, a guest — a drunken sheep with no responsibilities. That’ll […]

Preventing Harassment(tm)

At my day job, I have to suffer through the annual “Preventing Harassment” seminar — an online course that takes 120 minutes to complete, though all of the quizzes tell you what the right answers are so it’s kind of a click-fest. I don’t quite understand the purpose when they give you the answers… In […]