My weekend job… Jesus. For 21 years I worked as the house manager/event coordinator at an old mansion in the suburbs of DC. Weddings, memorials, bar mitzvahs, birthdays, everything. Every event was so similar in theme and approach, I just …
I want to talk about the girl in high school who would give anyone who asked a blowjob but would then vomit the moment she started.
All of my friends loved this old girlfriend I had. Despite the relationship ending poorly, they said that she should be congratulated for “healing me” or whatever the fuck. I can’t help but interpret this as some sort of backhanded …
I have finally completed my 20 year study on why women think it’s acceptable to stick their fingers up your ass. The results are below.
There was this girl from high school who was extraordinarily beautiful. Blonde, blue eyed, tall, built like a super model. And I mean built like a super model the way you think a super model is built, not the weird …
I’ve come to appreciate girl’s butts.
One of the things I struggle with is why I so often go girl crazy. I don’t enjoy relationships, I don’t enjoy sex, I want nothing but to be left alone, and, yet, time and time again, I’ll fall instantly …
My friends worry about me. I know this. I try to be normal around them but, in the end, it always ends with vodka and a critical analysis of Stargate episodes.
One thing about women I’ve really come to hate is when they say they’re good in the bedroom. Because they never are, are they? Every woman I’ve been with has playfully told me this but, once I get them in …
People think I need a girlfriend. Friends say it’s unhealthy to roll into my 37th year without a girl on board. Despite countless train wrecks, they’re probably right. I’ll soon be moving into an age where it’s oddly creepy for …