The BSG Problem

Well, it’s taken me six years, but I think I’ve finally decided why the reboot of Battlestar Galactica was perhaps the worst thing to happen to sci-fi.

Brain Fart #8 by Monkey.

After months of guttersnipe press and stupid people who allow tabloid media to decide their vote, the U.K. is fucked. Before the referendum vote I was baffled some would even consider such foolhardy action regardless of ‘Project Fear’ in the classless and low quality tabloid press of England which – owned by friends of the […]

Monday Brain Fart #7 by Monkey!

The common delusion of democracy is at once a great boon and sin for modern society. How can you say this? idiots may ask and may well they ask; your vote doesn’t count. Let’s examine the present U.S. Candidate race. A contestant may win 60% of the popular votes yet the unelected delegates may choose […]

Monday Brain Fart #Whatever by Monkey!

One thing I would not have thought so hard to find in adulthood would be a great pair of jeans – not a good pair of jeans but a great pair of jeans. I found those jeans, once, but now I cannot find their replica. I loved them dearly and held them tightly and squeezed […]

The Other Shoe

I realized the other day that I’ve spent my life waiting for the other shoe to drop about the most inconsequential shit. I was cleaning up the guest room ahead of a weekend visitor and that involved shifting a bunch of business files, which I carefully put somewhere where I could quickly lay my hands […]

Gentle Reminder

When did it become popular for everyone to send an email saying “gentle reminder” or “friendly reminder”? When did the American workplace become infected with this institutionalized passive-aggression? Because that’s the only way to read it, right? “Gentle Reminder” to a normal person means “What the fuck, Charlie? The whole team has fucking finished their […]

Bad Words

Every once in a while I have, in my real life interactions, what I like to call “a Nacho moment.” I’ll sort of slip into the Nacho persona and say or do something that horrifies the regular people. Actually, it probably happens more frequently than I realize, and I know that it’s happening only when […]

The Last Run

All of my father figures are men who ran.

5 Minutes #3 by Monkey!

Your dad made you eat verbs. Huh? I said he made you eat cum. The person laughed and I hated them more. It was now their fault this anger would eat at me all day long – a niggle, a nibble, a sharp fingernail to poke my ribs when least wanted, not that it is […]

Pain Diary

Waking up from a world of pain was harder than I thought.