The Panel
Professor Albert danced in front of the table like he was the emcee at a circus.
Professor Albert danced in front of the table like he was the emcee at a circus.
“It’s…the best…shit…ever…” Travis opened his courier bag and pulled out a plastic grocery bag. He glanced around suspiciously, then hunched over and pulled out a copy of Mi Gringo. The cover flashed in the dim light as I downed half a pint of beer in one swallow.
My grandfather was the family patriarch for many years, holding court and always dreaming of returning to the family seat in Parkersburg, WV, which he fled after World War II in the years when New America was born.
I’m ashamed to admit that, for a very long time, I thought that “BFF” meant “butt fuck friend.” That it was a thing the kids were saying and had somehow become mainstream. I figured I was just out of touch, and was too afraid to ask anyone about it. I like to pretend I’m hip […]
Following on from “The Business of Death” posted earlier this month… January, 2007. It took my father four hours to choke to death. I sat vigil in his hospital room as he fought the fluid in his lungs, his face a mask of agony, unable to speak or communicate in any way. His eyes, […]
My weekend job is at an organization housed in a historic mansion on a large wooded lot in the middle of a wealthy suburb. The event rentals make about half a million a year, which covers half of the yearly cost to maintain the property. That other half a million comes from the results of […]
I haven’t had sex since 1995. Good sex, I mean. Enjoyable sex. The pain started in 95. A pain so severe that drawing breath felt like I was being tasered in the eye. Sex, of course, was almost out of the question. Pursued and practiced simply because I choose a self-destructive path designed to defy […]
The business of weddings, as I’ve watched it evolve over the last 20 years, has become one of the more disgusting examples of runaway capitalism and usury.
My friends worry about me. I know this. I try to be normal around them but, in the end, it always ends with vodka and a critical analysis of Stargate episodes.
The greatest mystery isn’t why my dad left. It’s what happened to him between 1985, when he vanished into the night, and 2000, when he sued me for control of my mother’s estate.