For one glorious summer, back in 1994, I was the assistant groundskeeper at the same utopian suburban paradise where I was collecting questionable sexual experiences. I wasn’t a very good groundskeeper, but that was okay. The job consisted of a …
Another week down! “Project Monday” is the terrible name for my current writing experiment where I close my eyes and pound on the keyboard and then drunkenly publish whatever horrible shit came out. Welcome to Great Society, sucker!
I often joke that, when I was a kid, my career ambition was to be a ninja, or a truck driver, or some G.I. Joe-style combination of both. I always wanted some quiet little job where I could be on …
Hunter Thompson’s famous quote that it never got weird enough for him is more true than ever today. We live in boring times. Even when the towers fell, and terrorists struck fear into the hearts of the free world, and …
As I get older, I find myself missing the ritual of Catholicism. I’ve been toying with the idea of popping into a mass some Sunday, getting back into the habit, resuming where I left off when I was 14. Up …
I’ve always identified with those Fight Club scenes criticizing the mass of useless stuff that we surround ourselves with. And, of course, the great cathartic moment where the apartment, and everything in it, is blown to hell.
No scorecard this week. I left for New Orleans last Thursday and won’t be back until late tonight. My goal for the trip was to divorce myself from technology – no laptop, no checking messages. Fuck everything. So, for all …
A tale for children.
As you read this, my plane will be bumping from BWI to New Orleans, a town I’ve tried to visit at least once a year since 2001.
Well, it’s taken twenty years, but I have finally managed to have sex on every desk and at every workstation at my weekend job.