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Stephen King’s Under the Dome

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So I’m totally addicted to Under the Dome: A Novel.  People look at it and think, holy shit, it’s a doorstopper.  But I will now demonstrate how Stephen King makes his books 1000+ pages long.

Ready?

Okay.

I’m Stephen King now:  “The Woodchuck really liked that song.  He liked it so much, that he heard it in 20-point bold italic font.  The song was

Born Under Punches by Talking Heads and it was awesome

It was so awesome, he could only think about how awesome it was using 20 point bold italics font.

It was awesome.

And then the woodchuck was cut in half.  The end.”

Now, take that and just sort of repeat it for 200 pages.  You’re well on your way to a 1000 page novel.

But, that said, and ignoring the fact that King writes like a man who’s been living as a sociopathic shut-in for 30 years (I Am Stephen King’s Medulla Oblongata), Under the Dome is easily his best work in 15 years.  Well worth picking up.

2 Comments on “Stephen King’s Under the Dome”

  1. I’ve thought of reading it, when it goes softback. Too damn heavy right now.

    But King has disappointed me before–Bag of Bones a prime example. Have you got to the ending yet? I want your opinion after finishing it.

  2. It’s wildly addictive, but I’m only 270 pages in. Long way to go till the ending. But, you know, let me tell you — it’ll be more of the same. The book is written for the third grade reader and contains no originality. The story itself is a rip off of The Bubble (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0060396/) so, you know, a book by a washed up author who was never that good in the first place inspired by a Z-grade sci-fi movie? Yeah.

    Which is good for whatever the ending is, because now he can’t disappoint!