Archive Monday: I’m Pulling a Nacho

So after a handful of pain pills, a few tugs from a bottle of port, and an evening of reevaluation I’ve decided to give up on the improvised novel. 

I’ve accomplished what I set out to do, which was start writing regularly again after about a three year hiatus.  And, like I’ve always felt, enthusiasm for long projects sort of peters out after about six months.  Maybe if I’d had an outline or idea of where I wanted to go things would be different and I could etch out a chapter now and again, but at the moment the only entry on my mental notepad is “Remo and Paul get into some crazy shit and learn life lessons.”  And, anyway, I know these people, I interact with them daily.  After dealing with them for nine hours a day replicating their personalities and mentalities fictionally is not the kind of catharsis I need. It’s time to file the document on the hard drive and move on.

So, onward and upward!  What can you expect from your newly energized Cassander?  Probably more one-off essays or short fiction pieces, the odd personal item, and maybe a few old things made new.  Part of the soul searching process tonight included scanning a bunch of never-circulated writing from the old days that I might polish and proffer.  That can be tricky, so don’t get your hopes up.  Sometimes we can never completely yell over our old voices.

Because writing, for me, doesn’t mean the same things that it used to.  The impetus is no longer escape or fame or prestige.  I no longer crave an imaginary lifestyle, no longer need the company or competition of other artists.  There is no race, no scorekeeper.  There’s just me and the tunnel now.   The new goal now is growth and consistency.  Find the weaknesses and hit Ctrl-X.  Move that cursor forward.

So, anyway, just to give you something a little more interesting than this blurb about my decision, here’s a link to an archived piece called “The Killer Kats of Akron” that people seem to enjoy.  It hasn’t been re-edited or altered because it’s one of the few things that is close to perfect already.  Cheers.