Skitters, D.A.


District Attorney Skitters settled down behind his wide, mahogany desk, licked one grey paw, and slid it down the bridge of his nose.  The Mooney file spread out before him like a half-finished jigsaw puzzle.

“God, I hate to start a Monday like this,” he said.

He opened Outlook and scanned through a couple dozen e-mails that had been sent to him over the weekend.  He deleted a few casually, then honed in on business.  Stepping gingerly onto the keyboard and moving in slow circles, he responded to a few judges about upcoming cases and sent out a terse response to Police Commissioner Faraday’s request for an extended deadline on a few evidence reports.

Skitters settled back down into his chair and activated his Blackberry, summoning his assistant team to his office.  They filed in within a few minutes and took up their usual spots around the room.

“All right, tell me what we’ve got in the frying pan,” he hissed.

Whitey piped up first.  “Well, boss, I just got back from Criminal Court D.  Judge Litz is still stonewalling us on this drug court thing.  He’s just refusing to transfer all this penny-ante bullshit and then going so far as to threaten the prosecutors with contempt of court when they show up one minute late for possession cases that are going around on their fifteenth continuance.”  Whitey sneezed into his chest and licked his face quickly.  “It’s a goddamn shuck and jive!”

Skitters lapped some coffee.  “Relax, Whitey, I’ll sort Litz out.  Meanwhile, we getting anywhere on that plea bargain with those two hard-hitters in the Jenkins case?”

Silky’s green eyes darted away then back to his.  “The offer’s hanging out there like a dangling string,” she said.  “Still waiting for that greaseball Loriano to convince his clients that it’s in their best interest.”

“Keep me posted.  All right, gang.  Get out there and do some good.  Silky, you hang back.”

The assistant DAs hopped out of their chairs, stretched fully, then scampered out of the room.  Silky watched them all leave then crept closer.

“You wanted to see me, sir?”

“I’m at my wit’s end with this Mooney case.”

“You’re tense, I know.”

“I don’t know what I was thinking, calling my shot…going out there and saying I’d prosecute the case myself.”

Silky nuzzled his nose, just briefly.  “You’ve still got the heat.  You just need to fire it over the plate.”

“It’s been a long time, Silky.”

“I know.  But the people in this town trust you.  You’ll find the way.”

“Thanks, kid.”

“Let’s discuss the strategy over dinner sometime.  You like wet food?”

Skitters turned up the corner of his mouth in a cool smirk.  “My doctor says I shouldn’t, but…yeah.  Every once in a while.”

Silky began to purr.  “Then I’ll see you at seven.”

2 Comments on “Skitters, D.A.

  1. Holy shit…came here because of the Just up the Pike post, but this site is hilarious.