The Ball Bra

I was thinking last night that I should try my hand at inventing, because I love Pagan Kennedy’s new book so much. If there’s one invention that the world really needs, it’s the Ball Bra.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Just wear boxer briefs, right? But the Ball Bra is designed to be worn during any occasion — especially sex when your ginormous balls are sweaty and flying around everywhere.

When guys are in their 20s, it’s easy. The balls behave themselves:

But then something goes wrong as you advance into your 40s and this happens:

So my proposal is the Ball Bra!

Here’s how it works:

The Ball Bra is made of a special material that wicks skanky ball sweat away and cushions the balls, cupping them gently against the body. It also provides guaranteed impact protection for all sexual encounters. If you’re in that horrible bathroom at the Starry Shamrock and the girl is sitting on the toilet with her legs on your shoulders, you now don’t have to constantly worry about your balls slamming against the frigid porcelain of the diarrhea blasted toilet. If you’re on top, just railing away, no longer will your thrusts be set to the wet, rhythmic slap of your giant, sore, hairy balls. If she’s on top, then no longer will your balls somehow manage to get into exactly the wrong position so that her big ass comes smashing down on them at full speed.

The Ball Bra!

Make your Balls Happy today! You can support the cause by buying things off my Wishlist.