The Maze Runner: A Review

The Maze Runner is a sci-fi flick about a group of young people who are placed in a house of stairs by a nebulous government agency and forced to learn how to work together. They wake up with no real previous knowledge of their past, or how they arrived at the house of stairs, and they must learn to deal with the disparate relationships within the group while also solving the puzzle of their imprisonment in a setting that’s disorienting, perplexing, and full of danger.

They can only find their way out of they work together and — WAIT! I’m so sorry. That’s William Sleater’s 1974 dystopian masterpiece House of Stairs.

Okay… Wait…I had something about The Maze Runner right here. Let’s see. Nobody believes in vandalizing the elevator…nobody bothers to explain what the note in the girl’s hand meant…nobody checks for pulses or arms themselves…a resurgence of suppressed memories doesn’t include any actual vital information…girl does not get naked…Patricia Clarkson does not engage in a graphic x-rated anal scene…

Okay, okay. There are the notes. I haven’t written anything, though. I think it’s the last point that bothers me the most. Patricia Clarkson is a super-cougar, isn’t she? Everytime I see her in something, I just want to slide up and say, ooh, mommy, I been a baaad boy. No, mommy, not the whipped cream! No, mommy, don’t make smores on my gentle boyish bottom and then make me eat them from betwixt you’re strangely delicious 55 year old tits!

You all should really read House of Stairs, by the way. It’s awesome.