Boble II: Exit, Stage Everywhere, conclusion
Chapter Six
“The Plutonium Serpent”
It took Blo a week to journey back down the mountain. You gotta take things like that real slow, man. He spent his long days thinking about the word “community.” His conclusions were simple: A body of people living in the same place under the same laws; also: a natural population of plants and animals occupying a common area. Society at large. Joint ownership. See: Agreement, concord.
At least, that was what was in the alien guidebook that BOB had given him for nighttime reading.
Meanwhile, below, the Hebos decided to knock over a nuclear power plant and build a serpent from the stolen plutonium. Glowing a neon blue and gold, the serpent rose up and defied Bob Heavens (where everyone has a big sausage).
The people sang and danced around the serpent and began to do immature things as if they were freshmen. They had turned over to the evil, Eternal Freshman: False Rob. They had allowed themselves to fall under the jurisdiction of False Rob’s loathsome puppet administrator, the Evil Mr. Bishop. For the Evil Mr. Bishop, when in Human form, often occupied the position of a High School Vice Principal, or a small college’s Financial Aid Advisor.
Blo returned and saw this horrible thing. In anger, he called upon those Hebos who still followed him.
“Hi boss,” his main lieutenant said.
“What in BOB’s name…?” Blo was beyond the ability to express himself.
“Yeah, things got a little out of control, boss.”
“I was only gone nine days….what happened to the meaningless golden idol?”
The lieutenant shrugged. “Well, the meaningless idol failed to answer the deeper questions about our own existence, and so the people decided to turn to a higher authority. This here is the Plutonium Serpent. It’s radioactive.”
Blo grimaced, then a dark anger flashed before his face. He issued the order to his loyal followers to go about and kill everyone. And so they did, and threw the serpent into the river.
Then Blo said unto the survivors, “You have performed a great wrong in the eyes of BOB! You filthy swine make my urine sting! Now I shall go forth and commune with he who is BOB.”
BOB decided, upon talking with Blo, to give everyone painful genital disorders. Stunned and hurting, the people limped after Blo to the holy land. There were no more incidents with false idols for many weeks.
And so the Hebos took over the holy land again and ruled where Abrahamilton had. Blo was glorified, and was offered many movie deals. An ark was built to hold the commandments, and everything looked like it was really going to shape up for a change.
The Hebos, now no longer slaves, began to develop the community envisioned by Blo. They choose to continue this really painful story into the next chapters. But don’t worry, the books are getting smaller and smaller as time goes on.
Blo died at some exaggerated age, and the Hebos had a party – for they were tired of running around at the whim of an old man. A newer, younger government…that’s what they needed. So they voted Democratic and hoped for the best.