Nacho’s Hammer

Conversations with Nacho’s Hammer: August 4th, 2001. 2:30 am.

NACHO: I’m…cold

NACHO’S HAMMER: Coal. Steam. Energy.

NACHO: Cold!

NACHO’S HAMMER: Blanket. Get a blanket. Touch me.

NACHO: I’ve been thinking about a certain girl a lot. I think there’s finally someone special in my life…

NACHO’S HAMMER: Jesus Christ, whatever. Touch me!

NACHO: Can we think about this particular woman?

NACHO’S HAMMER: You sappy bastard, I don’t care. When did I ever care? Think about whatever does it.

NACHO: I want to think about you being inside of her…surrounded by her warmth.

NACHO’S HAMMER: Ummm…yes, go on.

NACHO: I want to think about –

NACHO’S HAMMER: Hammering her ass?

NACHO: Dude, can you let me work here?

NACHO’S HAMMER: Right, right. I’m sorry.

NACHO: It’s okay.

NACHO’S HAMMER: Okay. Inside her, then. Warm and sticky. Girl cum! Yes. Go on.

NACHO: So I pull you out to the tip and start to tease her –

NACHO’S HAMMER: (unintelligible)

NACHO: Then I slide you deep into her.

NACHO’S HAMMER: Oh Christ! How deep? Like, can I feel her insides? Am I
shifting her kidneys around and popping out her throat?

NACHO: Uhh… What?

NACHO’S HAMMER: Sorry…sorry. Nevermind. Just a… Just this thing I think
about sometimes. So go on, deep in her. Love apples.

NACHO: What?

NACHO’S HAMMER: Love apple! That little thing they have up there that’s like a tonsil or whatever.

NACHO: Dude, how do you know this?

NACHO’S HAMMER: I see it! Look, go on…please…

NACHO: I’m holding her body against mine, smothering her with kisses and whispering sweetly in her ear –

NACHO’S HAMMER: Right, right. Back to the thrusting and rubbing.

NACHO: Okay, so I pull her on top of me –

NACHO’S HAMMER: Are you sitting down or lying down?

NACHO: What? I’m sitting down.

NACHO’S HAMMER: Is your back supported? You know how you get.

NACHO: Yes, yes. My back is supported. So I’m sitting down, and I lift her up by her waist and pull her down on top of you.

NACHO’S HAMMER: Mother – (unintelligible) Goddamn! Good, good!!

NACHO: So I’m lifting her by her hips, my hands clutching her hipbones,
and raising her up slowly, then pulling her down again hard. Speeding
up until I’m slamming her down on you.

NACHO’S HAMMER: AAAHHH!!! Yes, yes… I love you NACHO! You are so good to me! Get some lotion, wouldja?

NACHO: She arches her back –

NACHO’S HAMMER: …tits, tits…

NACHO: I’m getting there! So she arches her back and puts her tits –

NACHO’S HAMMER: Damn, boy! Ah-haaa!!

NACHO: – In my face and I’m sucking on her erect nipples.

NACHO’S HAMMER: Suck, boy, suck!

NACHO: She makes these soft sounds, deep in her throat. My hands still lifting her and bringing her down – harder, faster.

NACHO’S HAMMER: Oh my ggggod… Inside her…please…god…

NACHO: Finally, I clutch her tight and, just as I’m about to cum, her
mouth opened and about to scream, I slow down and hold it.

NACHO’S HAMMER: Jesus Christ God almighty mother virgin death!!! What
are you doing? Jesus H. goddamned Christ! Don’t do that!!

NACHO: She’s going wild. “More, more!” she’s whispering urgently, her
hands clawing into my shoulder. Her nails cut into my skin and I bleed,
I’m moving her down onto you again, gaining speed, as she bends down
and licks the blood off my shoulder.

NACHO’S HAMMER: Right, more thrusting and less weird stuff, kink wizard.

NACHO: Still holding her by the hipbones, I’m moving her faster and
faster – raising her to the tip, then bringing her down hard. She
starts pushing down as well, hands hard on my shoulders, breathless in
my ear, clawing, cutting, scratching, biting until finally I pull her
down hard and you –

NACHO’S HAMMER: Holy smokes, look out!! (unintelligible) Zunga!! Eeep…eep…UNGA! (unintelligible).

NACHO: Oh man…

NACHO’S HAMMER: …whew. Yeah, sorry about that. So, uh, when do I get to meet this girl?

NACHO: Can we just snuggle for a bit?

NACHO’S HAMMER: No, dude, I have to pee.

Nacho Sasha

What’s a pretty girl like you doing in a race like this?