Tommy the Poop Man
When I was a kid, I used to think there was a little man in my stomach who was responsible for handling all of the poop. Day after day, there he was, at the bottom of my stomach, surrounded by …
Tag: Rants
Beautiful Things
Since I now only write articles so that I can keep the GS Kindle subscription active and, therefore, make my precious $3 a month from subscribers who mistakenly think this is a porn site for some reason, I should probably …
Let them eat static
I often go on about how bored I am. And I am. It’s overwhelming, sometimes. Every single aspect of my life is predictable. Like a show you’ve watched a million times. My entire life is Star Trek II on mute …
That Place on My Lip That I Keep Biting
I have crooked teeth. People like to point this out all the time in what, I presume, is an attempt to destroy me and make me finally commit to a path of ultimate evil. I suppose, if I had a …
The Pattern
One of the things I struggle with is why I so often go girl crazy. I don’t enjoy relationships, I don’t enjoy sex, I want nothing but to be left alone, and, yet, time and time again, I’ll fall instantly …
Reunion
Like most normal, sane people, I had put high school behind me. The worst years of our lives, really, no matter how much you try to sugarcoat it. When the 20th reunion party planners contacted me, I was a little …
False Starts
In college, studying history, I took a class on Nazi propaganda. An entire semester, three and a half hours a week, sitting in a darkened room watching the entire collection of the Goebbels newsreels, from the mid 1930’s right up …
Words of Mass Destruction
When the webpage changed over from Dirtyfreaks.com to Greatsociety, we added a primitive little forums module. Since then, the forums have been home to a small group of, well, deeply crazy people. Considering that there are only a handful of …
Miyagi
You know who had the perfect life? Mr. Miyagi. The original one. He works in that weird maintenance shed by the Dumpsters, hidden away from all the other apartments. He never seems to have anything to do during the day except work …
Social Animals
I have a rare free weekend coming up and, as Monday dawns harsh and merciless, I find that I’m irrationally excited about the idea that, come Friday, I’ll be able to come home, take off my pants, go nowhere, do …