Posts Tagged ‘drinking’

No-Alcohol Weddings

I’ve been to over a thousand weddings, as an employee charged with staying in a back office and trying to read a book.  But I’ve only been a guest at three weddings…and all of them were alcohol free. Two were Muslim, which is fine.  If fucking god tells you not to booze up, then okay.  […]

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Notes on not drinking

As I enter my third day of voluntary sobriety, I find that the world is stark and boring. Really, though, it’s not that I feel I have a problem, or am speaking out against alcohol, or seeking help, or even putting any importance on lasting 30 days without a drink.  I’m just screwing around.  It’s […]

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Two Days Sober

I think this compressed schedule is going to kill me.  Get into the office at 8am (after leaving home at 7am, get home by 7pm, catch a rat and/or one of the neighbor’s children for dinner, then pass out. The supposed reward for working this retarded schedule is that I get every other Friday off.  […]

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Vices

I’ll start by saying that I really want to escape this life.  I want to live on a West Virginia mountaintop, in a Joe Bob Briggs TNT Monstervision-era trailer, and just vanish. But that’s not really practical at this point in my life, so I have to look towards alternate means of escape.

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Zazz

I’ve decided to become an executioner.  This is not just because I’ve been compulsively watching and rewatching the brilliant Snuff Box, which everyone reading should immediately go rent/buy/download, depending on your geography and budget.  I’ve made this decision independent of television’s influence. I can tell the difference.  For example, I really want — but know […]

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Morning Beer

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In the piss drinking department…

We all know Two chicks, One Cup (a.k.a. Cupchicks). So let me go ahead and introduce you to the next phase: One orangutan, no cup. Yes, I’m bored. I’m working a 10 hour shift at my second job and I’m really hungover. I was okay this morning, because I was still drunk from last night. […]

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Golden Dollar

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