Category: Rants

Bad Words

Every once in a while I have, in my real life interactions, what I like to call “a Nacho moment.” I’ll sort of slip into the Nacho persona and say or do something that horrifies the regular people. Actually, it probably happens more frequently than I realize, and I know that it’s happening only when […]

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5 Minutes #3 by Monkey!

Your dad made you eat verbs. Huh? I said he made you eat cum. The person laughed and I hated them more. It was now their fault this anger would eat at me all day long – a niggle, a nibble, a sharp fingernail to poke my ribs when least wanted, not that it is […]

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5 minute Brain Fart #2, by Monkey!

This week has been somewhat hectic with regards to foreign political climates and domestic affairs. Over the pond in Yankee Doodle land it appears that mister wig master Trump – a surname which sounds like fart – is leading the race to become a presidential candidate. In Europe, the German Chancellor is probably going to […]

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5 minute brain farts or, ‘Saint Cunt of Cuntcutta.’ by Monkey.

Since I discovered ‘The Most Dangerous Writing App Ever’* which isn’t an app but a webpage I have been holding myself to a once-per-week exercise of writing non-stop for five minutes. http://www.themostdangerouswritingapp.com/ *Note, if you stop writing for more than a few seconds you lose all progress Here is entry #1 unedited and purposefully bombastic. […]

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Down with the DST

The first time I got a job where I didn’t have to punch a fucking clock, I decided to stop observing Daylight Savings Time. This is harder than it seems, and not for the reason you think. I had to disable the option on half the clocks in the house, and I ended up using […]

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Pressure

When I was a kid, I always wanted a barometer. They just seemed so romantic and exciting, you know? It was this antique looking brass dial that sea captain’s had, and all of the old people I knew who were halfway cool had a barometer in their house. People talked about the barometer all the […]

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Trumped

What’s wrong you idiots? Trump is the best possible thing that could happen to this country. We need him in the White House! Think about it – everyone in Congress will unite against him. His mere presence will dissolve the two party system and we’ll move into an era of egalitarian utopia as congressmen, senators, […]

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The Coach, The Cowboy, and the Monkey

I’m bored and all the news is about Trump, so I’m going to write a long post about something that doesn’t matter to anyone. But I think it’s funny!

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Hitler, That Guy You Know

I have only one wish for the human race in 2016. And that wish is…

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Meandering

I didn’t have a post ready today because I’ve been doing all this for-money writing all week and I can’t concentrate on anything. Also, the only thing that I feel compelled to do is post tons of Youtube clips of Bowie singing and Rickman doing a terrible American accent that doesn’t even fool John McClane. […]

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