Pillows
My roommate in college was a pillow humper. You know, that face-down masturbation technique where you brutalize your pillow, destroy your bed, and horrify even the most pornographically polluted mind.
Stephen King by Stephen King
I’ve been bad about returning calls these last few weeks because my grandmother had the bad form to pass away (something I always advise against, by the way), and because I’m stupid enough to publish books, and our most recent …
Send me your poor, your tired, your depressed
Here’s how I pass my mornings: I wake up and stare out the window as the sun rises over the low-rise garden apartments that look exactly like mine. I watch the early commuters flock to their cars. I listen to …
Kidney Cancer
I’ve spent the last 24 hours trying to decide if this pain in my lower back is just normal old back pain, because I’ve been doing a lot of heavy lifting lately (you know, corpses), or if my kidneys have …
Spring
Oh, thank god, Spring has arrived. I mean, sure, the trees have been doing their thing, and the weather’s been vaguely warm some days, but the true measure of the season comes in the form of girls. The women I …
Paranoia
I’ll confess to a little paranoia here and there. I like to think it’s because I’m from an urban environment. DC may be a small town, by most city standards, but the client suburbs hold millions of people. And the …
Sell-Crazy
I’ve become addicted to selling junk. As part of the ongoing storage shed cleanout (my little 2008 project to cut down costs and eliminate the enormous pile of trash I’ve stuffed into multiple storage units in the far-flung DC suburbs) …
Welcome to Nacholand
I’ve recently become fascinated with the idea of living on the ocean, thanks to an entry at Weburbanist. Permanent residences are currently available on The World, but it’s sort of a lark. “Vacation residences,” they’re called, even though there are …