Look into my eyes
It’s Friday! My brain’s dead, so here’s a video for you. I think this works well if you’re like me and you’re still watching that Spalding Rockwell video over and over again. My brain’s so dead, I can’t even get …
Category: Rants
Big Darkness
Well, still coming down from all of the nail-biting freakout that circles around the production of a book. Now sitting around, powerless, still nail-biting, waiting for inventory to arrive at the distribution center. I remain convinced that something will fuck …
Downtown
“Look, you not gonna get it to sound like that. It only sounds like that on the record cause it was his guitar he keep in his closet every day gettin’ soggy and melding with the temperature of the room. …
Death Fever 3000
I don’t get sick often, but when I do, the Death Fever hits hard. I can usually feel it coming on. There are warning signs: the flagging attention span, the warm gauzy feeling stretching underneath my epidermis, the loss of …
Not quite a snow day
Why is Tinkerbell’s name used to call someone a homosexual? I mean, I get that she’s a fairy and all, but Tinkerbell is fucking sexy! Why would you call a guy Tinkerbell unless you were really attracted to him? That’s …
Post-Holiday
Oh, thank god. The holidays are over. And my Christmas dinosaur can go back to the window where it scares my neighbors. Well…nothing can scare my neighbors. Even toddlers spend the weekend in the parking lot using My Little Ponies …
Christmas at GS
My family has abandoned me, which might be a good thing, so Christmas will be spent alone with my life-size Jonathan Frakes inflatable doll.
Silent night, deadly night
At this time of year I always find myself singing the theme song to 80’s slasher classic Silent Night, Deadly Night. Except I don’t remember the theme at all, and can barely recall any of the films, so I just …
Holidays
Ah, Thanksgiving. The first major milestone in my seasonal affective disorder. If I make it to Thanksgiving, I know I’ll survive Christmas. And then there’s the long haul through January and February where I don’t have to worry about family …
Victory Party
I’ve managed to avoid three Obama “victory parties” so far. The only thing that scares me more than the Nazis who follow McCain are the wild-eyed armchair liberals who rally around Obama’s “message” of hope and change. Which is how …