Smokes
I read today that a Phillip Morris-backed study has managed to “engineer” one of the big cancer causing agents out of tobacco.The article was preoccupied with informing us that smoking is bad and, even with this new GM tobacco, everyone …
Category: Rants
Hookin’ Up 91 Style
Call me spoiled, but I like to take around six weeks off in a big block every year and just get my feet off of America. Typically I fly out and bedevil my friends in the UK. This summer, money …
Comcast
Good morning from your capitol city, America. I’m a big fan of how the DC bars get in the mood for St. Patrick’s Day. When else can I walk into any bar at 7:30am and get a beer? Well, there …
The Seven Social Sins
I read today that the Pope will announce seven new deadly sins when he visits DC next month. I learned all about the original sins in school but, really, the only thing I remember is from the movie. Which is …
Atomic Women
Sometimes I think it’d be nice to have a woman around. But then I think of the times a woman has been around, and that makes me think of how much toilet paper, Q-tips, and other essentials they consume. So …
God is in Charge
I was in line at the Post Office the other day, sending off my goddamned taxes, when a lady stepped in front of me. She said that the clerk told her to get to the front of the line and, …
Sister Joanne
Here’s a nugget of advice to all you writers out there: Never let your wicked wage slave job know that you can write. Because, suddenly, you’ll be writing everything for your boss and then get yelled at for falling behind …
Fire!
My friend reports that he valiantly fought back an electrical fire in his living room. Good thing he works at home, because it was some weird short behind the couch or something. If, like me, he was a slave at …
Drug Update
When I threatened to cut back on caffeine a while ago, I didn’t really plan to carry through with it. But I find life extremely boring, so I figured I’d give it a go. Just for the sake of mixing …
The Issues
Like any good American, I’m following the presidential primaries the same way a person pays attention to a bottle rolling down the aisle of the subway car. You know: Please don’t hit my feet and force me to take some …