Autobiography
Top ten things I wish I had included in the stupid memoir about my evil family and my fucked up life after I had them all killed:
Category: Rants
Grief Cycle
There’s been no escaping the post-election freakout. I’ve tried. But everyone’s talking about it…seemingly more than usual. The four stages of jilted liberal grief are just so predictable though.
Stop telling me to get out and vote
First of all, I’m addicted to voting. I think it’s important, I always vote, and I revel in the idea that my little vote is part of a grander, greater voice of potential revolution. At the local level, I vote …
Brain Fart #9 by Monkey!
Today I read an article on Psychology Today, ‘Does Talking To Attractive Women Make Men Dumber?’ and obvious sexist implications aside, the writing in general angered me. The claim is that men become temporarily less intelligent when talking to attractive women in …
Brain Fart #8 by Monkey.
After months of guttersnipe press and stupid people who allow tabloid media to decide their vote, the U.K. is fucked. Before the referendum vote I was baffled some would even consider such foolhardy action regardless of ‘Project Fear’ in the …
Monday Brain Fart #7 by Monkey!
The common delusion of democracy is at once a great boon and sin for modern society. How can you say this? idiots may ask and may well they ask; your vote doesn’t count. Let’s examine the present U.S. Candidate race. …
Monday Brain Fart #Whatever by Monkey!
One thing I would not have thought so hard to find in adulthood would be a great pair of jeans – not a good pair of jeans but a great pair of jeans. I found those jeans, once, but now …
Bad Words
Every once in a while I have, in my real life interactions, what I like to call “a Nacho moment.” I’ll sort of slip into the Nacho persona and say or do something that horrifies the regular people. Actually, it …
5 Minutes #3 by Monkey!
Your dad made you eat verbs. Huh? I said he made you eat cum. The person laughed and I hated them more. It was now their fault this anger would eat at me all day long – a niggle, a …
5 minute Brain Fart #2, by Monkey!
This week has been somewhat hectic with regards to foreign political climates and domestic affairs. Over the pond in Yankee Doodle land it appears that mister wig master Trump – a surname which sounds like fart – is leading the …