Just when I thought I was out…
The girl in the office next to mine has a new boyfriend. This doesn’t really matter, except that her cell phone plays the Godfather theme every time he calls – which is all the time. And we share an air …
Dog Power
For the past ten years or so, I’ve been figuring out a way to comfortably go off the grid. Not in the modern Green Earth sense, but in the bug the fuck out sense. Cut up my credit cards, report …
Diane, I’ve found a glass full of scotch
Oh, god, please tell me I’m not really going to be working seven days a week from now till the fall… It’s about this time, each year, that I get really weird. Since 2001, I’ve taken about five weeks off …
Outtake Articles: Weddings II: Pray For Rain
Okay, following this one, here’s another one I wrote. This from late March. 12:30 right now — and currently at what I would call a Problem Wedding. And, unlike the wedding in the article below, there are no mojitos to …
Outtake Articles: Weddings I
Okay, so I’ve got this weekend job I go on about, where a big old fancy house rents itself out to weddings and special events. I’m the super secret monitor/groundskeeper/toilet plungerer, and have been doing the job since 1993 (having …
Catered Mornings
Okay, here’s the sign that I’m working too much. Saturday, eight in the morning, starting my ten hour (or more) shift. I woke up exhausted, and am in here without combing my hair or anything of that sort. Just sort …
MacGyver’s in trouble
When I bitch about my job, I know that it’s all my fault. I’m the one who decided to get a liberal arts degree, then not continue my schooling. I’m the one who lacks the typical career ladder ambition that …
Terror Alert: Wage Slave Kills for Muskrat Love
Cold and rainy Monday. I haven’t even clocked in yet, and I’ve still heard the inevitable. Not a bad day to work! Glad to be inside! Warm and dry in here!
Presents
Well, Saturday is my 34th birthday. I tried to round up some old birthday articles in the archives, but only found a post for my 32nd birthday and one for the 31st. I had brain surgery right before my 33rd …
Haunting
I’ve had two experiences that I would call ‘supernatural.’ There have been many frights and weird things, but only those two have been truly odd. Though, of course, there are always explanations.