Chelsea scares me

So… Is Chelsea Clinton really a Jack Nicholson-style Joker?  I finally spent a few seconds paying attention to shit last night, as Hillary endorsed America’s Favorite Black Man, and it struck me that something was up.  Chelsea’s always going around with that frozen, empty smile that looks more painful than anything else.  She’s clearly had some back alley plastic surgery, and what’s with that baby-doll hair?  If it wasn’t for the lifeless, sad, animal eyes, I’d say there was some serious trouble brewing there.

Also, Playboy, can we get a Michelle Obama issue, please?  Because she’s the only reason I’m voting for Obama.  Or are we supposed to call her “Michelle O” now to maintain the JFK nonsense?  That seems to be what the media has started doing.  Because it’s a good thing to compare Obama to an election-stealing womanizer who brought us to the brink of nuclear war.

That’s not fair, I know.  Kennedy was about a million times more fun than Nixon.  As we all eventually learned, much to our regret.  And now the Nixon era is burned into the primal fears of the human collective consciousness.