Jobs

This job ad in Craigslist just came across my desk, electronically speaking.

Since the ad will vanish eventually, the text is below.

Are you looking for an exciting opportunity make a real impact with your business and marketing writing talents? A dynamic, entrepreneurial for-profit college in Northwest DC is looking for an experienced copy writer and desktop publisher to lead aspects of both internal and external written communications.

To apply: Provide a resume and the following writing sample to demonstrate your abilities. (This is the type of thing we’ll ask you to write, so if this doesn’t interest you at all, you shouldn’t apply) Draft an email that we could send to a student that has taken several courses at our college, but who has withdrawn, encouraging that student to come back and continue her studies.

That’s easy.  Come back or fight in Iraq!  The job will be even easier if McCain wins the White House.  But then he might make it so you have to enlist for 20 years just to become a citizen and earn the right to go to a college in Northwest DC.

The details:

You will report directly to the Senior Vice President of Sales and Marketing and will be responsible for writing, editing and proofreading a wide range of print and online materials including content for our web site, emails to students, and other marketing materials.

Okay.  But, then — a twist!

The twist: while you are writing copy you will also fill the role of security guard, working 6:30 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. Monday through Thursday. We will buy your uniform. You won’t carry a gun. Applicants must be able to pass a drug screen as well as a criminal background check. The security guard spends most of the shift seated at the reception desk, and there will be very minimal security duties. Practically the entire shift you will be able to focus on writing copy – you’ll just happen to be wearing a uniform.

I would have hopped on the subway and showed up in person if they said I could carry a gun.  Alas…

The ideal candidate will bring a BA or BS Degree in Journalism, Communications, English or other Liberal Arts degrees. Candidates who are currently working on such a degree will be considered. The candidate should be fluent in desktop publishing and should be familiar with technical and non-technical writing standards, style manuals and proofreaders’ marks.

Required Abilities:
Experience writing, editing, proofing and the production of internal and external communications in a business to business environment.
Ability to distinguish and adapt writing for the various contexts of print and web.

Demonstration of effective coordination and collaboration with others, including internal customers, graphic design professionals and team members.
Demonstrate excellent oral communication skills.
Strong formatting skills in Word other MS Office programs are essential.

A strong interest in learning new editorial and social media outlets and writing for such mediums.
Prior desktop publishing experience.

Preferred Experience * A proven track record with external communications for marketing objectives

Proven track record for writing high-impact marketing collateral such as brochures, data sheets, feature sheets, emails, proposals and case studies.
Technical Capabilities * Proficiency in MS Office (especially Word, PowerPoint, Excel, and Outlook)

Yeah, I applied.