{"id":94,"date":"2008-05-23T09:16:47","date_gmt":"2008-05-23T14:16:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.greatsociety.org\/?p=94"},"modified":"2018-10-31T12:48:23","modified_gmt":"2018-10-31T16:48:23","slug":"just-when-i-thought-i-was-out","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/?p=94","title":{"rendered":"Just when I thought I was out&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"MsoNormal\">The girl in the office next to mine has a new boyfriend.<span>  <\/span>This doesn\u2019t really matter, except that her cell phone plays the <em>Godfather<\/em> theme every time he calls \u2013 which is all the time.<span>  <\/span>And we share an air conditioning vent, so I can hear everything.<span>  <\/span>From each kissy-poo over the phone to every secret fart.<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\">In what I can only call an affliction, probably in the neighborhood of Tourette\u2019s, I\u2019m compelled to quote one of the more famous lines from <em>The Godfather<\/em> every time I hear the ring tone.<span>  <\/span>I can\u2019t stop it.<span>  <\/span>Sometimes I sit in my office, rocking back and forth, muttering the line to myself until her phone rings, then I shout it out through the vent:<\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\">\u201cEvery time I try to get out, <em>they pull me back in<\/em>!\u201d<span>  <\/span>I\u2019m getting the quote wrong, too.<span>  <\/span>That\u2019s even worse.<span>  <\/span>I\u2019m getting it wrong and I know I am.<span>  <\/span>Of course, the line sounds better the way I do it, and nobody paid attention to <em>Godfather III<\/em> anyway.<span>  <\/span>I can say what I want, really.<span>  <\/span>Every time I ask for a Coke, <em>they give me a Pepsi<\/em>!<span>  <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\">What worries me is that I just can\u2019t control myself.<span>  <\/span>A normal person should be able to stop the impulse, right?<span>  <\/span>It\u2019s just that her phone is so fucking loud.<span>  <\/span>So I\u2019m here minding my business and trying to figure out how not to do any work, and then the blaring tones of the <em>Godfather<\/em> theme echo through the vent.<span>  <\/span>The more I try to control it, the louder I shout out the line.<span>  <\/span>Often after a startled little shudder.<span>  <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\">I\u2019ve only been here an hour today and her phone has rung 17 times.<span>  <\/span>We do get to leave early today, but I don\u2019t know if I can make it.<span>  <\/span>Maybe I should try to mix it up a bit.<span>  <\/span>Next time the boyfriend calls, I\u2019ll scream out:<\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\">\u201cI know it was you Fredo. You broke my heart. <em>You broke my heart!<\/em>\u201d Then I\u2019ll stand up on my desk and rattle the vent.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The girl in the office next to mine has a new boyfriend. This doesn\u2019t really matter, except that her cell phone plays the Godfather theme every time he calls \u2013 which is all the time. And we share an air &hellip;<\/p>\n<p class=\"read-more\"> <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/?p=94\"> <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Just when I thought I was out&#8230;<\/span> Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[400],"class_list":["post-94","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-wage-slave","tag-wage-slave"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=94"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1153,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94\/revisions\/1153"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=94"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=94"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=94"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}