Oh, thank god, Spring has arrived.<\/p>\n
I mean, sure, the trees have been doing their thing, and the weather\u2019s been vaguely warm some days, but the true measure of the season comes in the form of girls. <\/span>The women I stalk. <\/span><\/p>\n Anyway, there\u2019s this one chick at my bus stop who\u2019s Hungarian or something. <\/span>She\u2019s tall, and has mousy hair with grey settling in. <\/span>She started showing up at my stop during the winter months \u2013 all long coat and collar stuff. <\/span>But I knew she was hot. <\/span>She also has a funny face, and I\u2019m quite partial to weird looking women. <\/span>I was never a big tits supermodel type. <\/span>Of course, I\u2019ll take a big tits supermodel\u2026 If\u2026you know, if you\u2019re reading this and were about to email me or something. <\/span>In fact, I\u2019ll take anything. <\/span>I haven\u2019t had my ashes properly hauled since the So bus stop girl showed up today in corduroys and a nice top, all figure hugging and what have you. <\/span>Because I have been staring hard at fully clothed women since 2003, I\u2019ve started to associate bra straps as part of the female anatomy. <\/span>You know, those little bumps in the back\u2026like the little nubbins of fallen angel\u2019s wings.<\/p>\n Yeah, that\u2019s right, I called you an angel. <\/span>Now get in the van and don\u2019t scream! <\/span>No one can hear you!<\/p>\n She seems as shy as I am. <\/span>Shyness is the real reason I lurk, creep, and\/or stalk. <\/span>I\u2019ve never been very comfortable around women. <\/span>The first woman I ever loved \u2013 I was in third grade and she was in ninth grade (I\u2019ve always liked them older) \u2013 was killed in a car crash. <\/span>After that, I was teased relentlessly by my peers that she had been replaced by an android and was off killing people or something. <\/span>Perhaps due to a deep fear of androids, I\u2019ve not trusted women ever since. <\/span>Of course, this distrust has been supported by the usual round of liars, cheats, whores, and cruel intentions that the \u201cnice guys\u201d often receive from girls throughout high school and the early part of college. <\/span>I\u2019m especially a fan of fucking me and then telling me you have an STD. <\/span>Cute. <\/span>How many bullets have I dodged? <\/span>My god, I think I stopped dating women just because I got tired of the blood tests, false alarms, and soul-shattering scares. <\/span><\/p>\n I enjoy sex but, strangely, the years since my last experience have been liberating. <\/span>It\u2019s kind of like when I got rid of my car in 2006 and became a public transport guy. <\/span>I missed the car, it was really convenient, but I was somehow freed on a deep and rewarding level. <\/span><\/p>\n When it comes to pursuing women these days, I always stop short. <\/span>Assuming the shyness doesn\u2019t cripple me from the get-go, I know, really, in my heart of hearts, that I\u2019m probably better off alone. <\/span>It\u2019s cheaper, I can focus on my goals and personal projects, and I can stay home all weekend, naked, drinking, watching people through the window.<\/p>\n Actually, that last part sounds lonely now that I write it down. <\/span>It sounds brave and noble in my mind\u2026 Weird.<\/p>\n This girl at the bus stop is intoxicating in that long-distance (or short) stalker way. <\/span>I spend my time wondering what she\u2019s thinking. <\/span>Is she thinking about her fancy Coach handbag? <\/span>My office mate schooled me on the handbag social structure, and Coach is supposed to be high up there. <\/span>So my thoughts frequently turn towards stealing her Coach bag and selling it on the street, because I\u2019m a liberal arts major and we have to always be on the lookout for financial opportunities in order to pay back the extraordinary student loans taken out to pay for our useless degrees.<\/p>\n Besides finally seeing her figure \u2013 which has a boyish, yet curvy, charm \u2013 I was shocked to learn that she had longish hair. <\/span>I always thought it was sort of spaceman helmet, except limp and graying, but today she had a cute little ponytail past the shoulders. <\/span>Also limp and mousy. <\/span>It\u2019s attractive that she\u2019s not doing lots of shit with her hair, because I hate salon girls. <\/span>I knew a girl who had to fly to I work in the city so, as spring comes down on us, that means I\u2019ll soon be able to spend my lunches drinking obsessively at sidewalk bars and watching scantily clad women walk around. <\/span>Making spank bank deposits throughout the day, of course. <\/span>Though I think my Cheggit subscription has burned out any hope of normal sex. <\/span>That\u2019s the trouble with porn. <\/span>After a while, you start to expect that behavior from normal women. <\/span>Heavily tattooed Asian anal freaks. <\/span> I\u2019m a fan of story porn. <\/span>Not involved threads, just, like, where\u2019s your daddy, wanna ride to school? <\/span>It seems like most porn caters to the 30-something shy lurker. <\/span><\/p>\n Yeah, writing that down sounds kind of lonely, too. <\/span>You know what else sounds bad? <\/span>I have a dental appointment on Saturday, and my dentist isn\u2019t covered by my insurance plan. <\/span>Why do I keep going to her and paying out of pocket? <\/span>Because she\u2019s a beautiful older blonde and I love how my head nestles between her breasts as she digs crap out of my mouth. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Oh, thank god, Spring has arrived. I mean, sure, the trees have been doing their thing, and the weather\u2019s been vaguely warm some days, but the true measure of the season comes in the form of girls. The women I …<\/p>\n
\nStalk\u2019s a strong word. <\/span>I like to say \u201ccreep,\u201d because it has a cute 1950\u2019s-ish feel to it. <\/span>\u201cLurk\u201d is even better. <\/span>\n<\/p>\n