best portable dry herb vaporizer<\/a>, although that is a candidate. I know there\u2019s American Spirit, which is Santa Fe Natural Tobacco Company. But they\u2019re really owned by Reynolds, which is one of the top three tobacco giants. And Santa Fe Natural Company is first to admit that, no, they don\u2019t do anything different with their cigarettes. See, it\u2019s like book covers. There\u2019s no such thing as a \u201cbestseller\u201d in the way they mean it. Same thing for all the propaganda on cigarettes. When confronted, a couple years ago, Santa Fe Natural had to tell the truth \u2013 yep. Reynolds cigarettes. Just put a new label on those Pall Mall\u2019s and charge extra.<\/p>\nSo a true organic company. That\u2019s what I should start. I\u2019ll grow the cancer-free GM tobacco, do all the whatever you do to it, then I\u2019ll ship out the leaves as they are. You cut them up and roll your cigarettes yourself. By the way, I have no understanding as to how cigarettes are made and, in fact, could not identify a tobacco plant even if I was being chased through a field of tobacco by an angry, possessed scarecrow. Well\u2026especially then.<\/p>\n
But how will my non-addictive, non-cancer causing tobacco leaf industry pay off? What a stupid question! Who asked that? You, there in the red, get out.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s the thing \u2013 everybody wants to smoke. If I provided guilt free cigarettes that caused no harm, people would be knocking my door down. I\u2019d be like those two ladies here in DC who started up a cupcake shop and discovered something incredible \u2013 people like homemade cupcakes! Believe it or not. I also predict that people like brownies. I hate to go out there like that, but I learned long ago to listen to my hunches. (The two cupcake ladies have expressed surprise at their popularity in a recent article. Duh.)<\/p>\n
I\u2019m dying to smoke. If I live till 80, I\u2019m going to start smoking multiple packs a day\u2026 But with cancer free tobacco, I can start right now. Then I, too, can be cool. I can go out on smoke breaks with all the pretty people, and I can learn how to talk like a 1940\u2019s actor with a cigarette bobbing around in my mouth. I can lean against walls and look like I belong, I can spend hours beating on the pack to \u201csettle\u201d the tobacco much to the intense annoyance of everyone around me.<\/p>\n
(By the way, smokers, please stop doing that.)<\/p>\n
I can do that frantic sucking down multiple cigarettes thing while debating with my inferiors. You\u2019re absolutely wrong, Tony, Obama is an Oreo!<\/p>\n
I grew up watching One Day at a Time<\/em>, so I hope I\u2019m forgiven if I roll my cigarettes up in my sleeve like Schneider.<\/p>\nI\u2019m sure that I\u2019m not alone in these desires.Except for the idolization of Schneider.I know that\u2019s wrong, but he\u2019s the reason I wanted to become a handyman and, strangely, never make a pass at Mackenzie Phillips.That would be hard.Well, not today, because she\u2019s, like, 150.But when she was TEEN MEAT (key search term for Google), she was\u2026 \u201cnice,\u201d as they say.Neat, even.<\/p>\n
I could make One Day at a Time<\/em> references all day.Probably because I don\u2019t smoke\u2026 If I did, I\u2019d be outside right now with the cool cats.One foot against the wall\u2026<\/p>\nHey, Nacho, you run those reports?<\/p>\n
No, motherfucker, I\u2019m smoking<\/em>!<\/p>\nAmen, motherfucker.<\/p>\n
Can I hear it?!<\/p>\n
YES MOTHERFUCKER!<\/p>\n
That\u2019s how smokers talk. Oh, how I admire them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I read today that a Phillip Morris-backed study has managed to \u201cengineer\u201d one of the big cancer causing agents out of tobacco.The article was preoccupied with informing us that smoking is bad and, even with this new GM tobacco, everyone …<\/p>\n
Smokes<\/span> Read More »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[242],"class_list":["post-50","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-rants","tag-smoking"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=50"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4350,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50\/revisions\/4350"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=50"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=50"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=50"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}