The idea for my 10,000 words in a day project came to me in a dream. I woke up and scribbled down titles for articles, then drank a glass of water, and then was very angry because the house was cold and I really had to take a piss. I look forward to old age where I can just piss in bed.
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The two titles I can read are: \u201cSorry I slept with your Hot Daughter,\u201d and \u201cThis Girl I Fucked A Few Years Ago Died and Now I Can\u2019t Stop Jacking Off To Her.\u201d<\/p>\n
The latter is actually interesting. About 12 or so years ago, there was this milfy co-worker who was just out of control. She was, like, six feet tall and crazy fit, dumb as a rock, and totally bonkers. <\/p>\n
Five months ago, she died suddenly at the age of 58. It\u2019s always sobering when someone under 75 or so dies. Dying in your 40s or 50s feels like losing. I mean, come on, dude. Tighten up. At least get to social security age. At least fucking try<\/em>, right? Jesus.<\/p>\n So, when I was fucking this dead chick, she was living in a studio apartment in the burbs after a bad breakup or some shit. I didn\u2019t actually pay attention to what her problem was. She liked to decant wine into a crystal container, but the wine was always sweet dessert wine that she bought for about $5 a jug. So we\u2019d sit around in her squalid ground floor room and drink diabetic coma wine and she\u2019d talk about how noble and wonderful our horrific day job was and how we were playing an important role in helping\u2026people\u2026or..something. God. Yuck. <\/p>\n At some point, deep into the wine, she would be \u201cvisited\u201d by \u201cTanya.\u201d Tanya was her \u201csplit personality\u201d and Tanya hated clothes.<\/p>\n So this chick would go into a trance, usually dropping her wine and shuddering and shaking, and then she would relax and smile, turning to look at me with crazy eyes.<\/p>\n \u201cHi!\u201d She would say in a high voice. \u201cWho are you?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I\u2019m nacho.\u201d I\u2019d reply.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m Tanya!\u201d She\u2019d say in that crazy voice. \u201cOoooh! It\u2019s so hot in here!\u201d Then she\u2019d take off her clothes and attack me.<\/p>\n This chick claimed to have no knowledge of Tanya or her actions. When not possessed by Tanya, she said that we were just \u201cwork buddies.\u201d Tanya seemed to be in on this because she\u2019d ask me to leave as soon as she was done with me, which was fine because, hooooly shit<\/em>. <\/p>\n Reading her obituary was strange because all I could think about was all the insane things that \u201cTanya\u201d did. That got me kind of hot. A little part of me even wanted to go to the viewing, but that felt wrong. <\/p>\n Anyway, not worth a whole article! Just a curious anecdote from my mis-spent youth. And I don\u2019t really want the modern Great Society to be too much like the old Great Society. I\u2019m old now and I don\u2019t do anything insane anymore. In fact, I\u2019m downright boring. I sometimes even bore myself. I\u2019ll be sitting around, marathoning Stargate SG1<\/em> for the one millionth time, muttering along to the lines in every single episode, and I\u2019ll think: Oh my fucking god, I am so boring. <\/p>\n Of course, in many ways, I\u2019m boring by design. I look back on the first, oh, 35 years of my life and I\u2019m horrified by all the monsters and demons that lurk there. Bad childhood, financial struggles, twelve years of a chronic pain condition that almost destroyed me. So now I get to do the damaged middle-age thing and try to forget about my past (he says as he posts on a blog he started in 2001 using a pseudonym he created in 1988). Have to live for the future. And the future has one goal: Not dying in my 40s or 50s like a stupid fucking loser. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The idea for my 10,000 words in a day project came to me in a dream. I woke up and scribbled down titles for articles, then drank a glass of water, and then was very angry because the house was …<\/p>\n