{"id":36,"date":"2008-02-21T11:39:30","date_gmt":"2008-02-21T16:39:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.greatsociety.org\/?p=36"},"modified":"2018-10-31T15:04:10","modified_gmt":"2018-10-31T19:04:10","slug":"drug-update","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/?p=36","title":{"rendered":"Drug Update"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/o>When I threatened to cut back on caffeine<\/a> a while ago, I didn\u2019t really plan to carry through with it. <\/span>But I find life extremely boring, so I figured I\u2019d give it a go. <\/span>Just for the sake of mixing shit up. I\u2019m down to 200 milligrams a day, and I\u2019m irritable and exhausted. <\/span><\/p>\n

<\/o><\/p>\n

It\u2019s kind of a downer to feel like I\u2019ve been up for a day and working at a factory before I even get out the door in the morning. <\/span>Then there\u2019s the half asleep commute, followed by sitting here at my sad job yawning all day and feeling like the world has come to an end.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve spent much of the last few days debating whether or not I\u2019m sick. <\/span>Ever since high school, I\u2019ve been terrified of mononucleosis because my mother told me it was a fatal disease that boys got if they interacted with women. <\/span>And that includes masturbation. <\/span>The major symptoms include <\/span>muscle soreness and fatigue. <\/span>I\u2019ve suffered from sore muscles and fatigue since I was eight. <\/span>Extreme \u201cmental fatigue\u201d is another symptom, and I can\u2019t remember a time when I wasn\u2019t mentally fatigued. <\/span>So I\u2019ve probably had mono since I was in the womb.<\/p>\n

There are a bunch of other symptoms, but I lose interest in stuff like that after awhile. <\/span>Especially since I\u2019m too beat to care, so that gives way to my sensible nature which is muttering constantly: <\/span>Go get a stinger from Starbucks, asshole.<\/em><\/p>\n

After much thought, I have decided to give up caffeine entirely, but it\u2019s slow going this time around. <\/span>Mainly because I have to get up at 5am, do a bunch of shit for the crazy publishing company I run, then crawl out to the bus stop in 20 degree weather at 7:30, then not kill my fellow commuters for an hour, then not kill any of my co-workers for 10 hours, then do everything in reverse. <\/span>I finally land at home around 7pm and, pretty much, I go to bed. <\/span>Or stand, fully clothed, in the shower and cry and drink scotch. <\/span><\/p>\n

When you face weekdays like that, drugs are very important. <\/span>I am acutely aware that I lack involvement in the drug culture. <\/span>There\u2019s booze and there\u2019s caffeine in my life. <\/span>Beyond those two distractions is nothing but the endless, desert plains of real life. <\/span><\/p>\n

The debate rages on \u2013 do I replace caffeine with, say, meth or something? <\/span>Because I did ask, just last weekend, if my friend could take me out to shoot off guns in the woods. <\/span>I want to shoot his big ass revolver gun thing, and his shotgun, and something illegal and automatic. <\/span>He nodded and said he could arrange for all three options and, if we\u2019re lucky, we can kill some squirrels.<\/p>\n

A good drug will replace my sudden desire to start buying and shooting guns. <\/span>Realistically, I\u2019ll probably just get back on caffeine. <\/span>It\u2019s much safer than hardcore drugs and, while on 500mg or more of caffeine, I\u2019m anti-gun. <\/span>I\u2019m also a bit more relaxed.<\/p>\n

One thing I\u2019ve noticed, as my caffeine intake decreases, is that my pet peeves have upgraded to\u2026well, serious peeves. <\/span>Like when a customer asks me how the weather is in DC – and they all fucking ask that question – I no longer laugh weakly and say, \u201cIt\u2019s okay. <\/span>How can I help you, sir?\u201d <\/span>I\u2019ve started to get tetchy with them. <\/span>I tell them that I\u2019m in a windowless office in the center of a big building and I\u2019ve been on the phones all goddamned day talking to nutfuckers and the last time I was outside it was motherfucking dark and, Jesus Shit-Eating Christ, it\u2019s February, so it doesn\u2019t matter what the weather\u2019s like. <\/span>It\u2019s fucking cold. <\/span>We can\u2019t all be lucky cunts like you, sir, and have tropical birds sweetly singing from the verdant motherfucking jungle just off the deck of our paradise cabin. <\/span>We\u2019re not all charging hundreds of dollars an hour for our soft science jobs providing mental health to people who are ushered out the door the second they start to have real problems. <\/span>We can\u2019t all afford to sit on the goddamned phone all day talking to the common people about the weather and fucking teasing them. <\/span>Because I\u2019ll fucking crawl out of here at 6pm and it\u2019ll be fucking dark again. <\/span>I swear to god, is it always dark? <\/span>I don\u2019t believe in the sun anymore. <\/span>I think it\u2019s gone. <\/span>Even the goddamned moon turned red last night! <\/span>What the fuck is that? <\/span>Everything\u2019s turning red! <\/span>HOW CAN I HELP YOU SIR?!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When I threatened to cut back on caffeine a while ago, I didn\u2019t really plan to carry through with it. But I find life extremely boring, so I figured I\u2019d give it a go. Just for the sake of mixing …<\/p>\n

Drug Update<\/span> Read More »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[34,36,35,37],"class_list":["post-36","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-rants","tag-caffeine","tag-commute","tag-day-job","tag-guns"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=36"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=36"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=36"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=36"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}