{"id":335,"date":"2009-06-24T06:00:01","date_gmt":"2009-06-24T11:00:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.greatsociety.org\/?p=335"},"modified":"2018-10-30T22:42:20","modified_gmt":"2018-10-31T02:42:20","slug":"boble-viii-subliminal-messages-on-the-cereal-box-part-one","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/?p=335","title":{"rendered":"Boble VIII: Subliminal Messages On The Cereal Box, part one"},"content":{"rendered":"

We have new readers at GS!\u00a0 What the fuck is The Boble?\u00a0 Roll back to the Intro<\/a> for this little corner of my sad blog.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Subliminal Messages on the Cereal Box (Subliminal BOB)<\/p>\n

The Value of Wisdom<\/p>\n

Chapter One
\nSock<\/p>\n

The Chief Eunuch had been thinking for an awfully long time but, finally, he raised his hands and spun around, \u201cA song!\u201d<\/p>\n

Sock, startled, looked up over his reading glasses, \u201cTry it again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA song!\u201d\u00a0 The eunuch repeated.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs this what happens when you\u2019re a eunuch?\u201d The Chief Scribe asked Sock.<\/p>\n

Sock put out both hands, \u201cI don\u2019t know, am I a Eunuch?\u201d<\/p>\n

Sock, son of Dil and king of the Hebos was spending a rainy weekend putting together something for the history books.\u00a0 Something to be remembered by, besides marrying a tart from out of state, spending all of the treasury on hookers, wine and peeled grapes and ruling with a brutal autocratic fist.\u00a0 Well, he expanded the army 100 fold and sent them out on \u201cpeacekeeping\u201d missions in neighboring city-states which, later, became part of his empire.\u00a0 And now it was time for him to put his thoughts down on paper, so his people wouldn\u2019t encounter tragedy and disaster after this death.\u00a0 That part always got eyes rolling between the Chief Scribe and the Chief Eunuch, as they were amongst the 720 contenders for the throne.<\/p>\n

Sock settled back in the throne and sighed, \u201cHow about I just say whatever\u2019s on my mind?\u00a0 Just blurt it out?\u00a0 Then you can edit it into something beautiful.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m a scribe, not an editor.\u201d said the Chief Scribe, spitting on the floor.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, then\u2026take care of it later on.\u00a0 Find someone else.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Chief Scribe sighed, looked sideways, then shrugged, \u201cYeah, whatever.\u00a0 Let\u2019s roll, then.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sock nodded.\u00a0 He put on the sacred purple-reflective sunglasses and took a deep breath.\u00a0 \u201cWhy the hell am I here?\u00a0 I, son of Dil, king of all the Hebos, say that men should appreciate what has come out of our race.\u00a0 That all wisdom heals wounds caused by less wisdom than all the wisdom of the wise.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Chief Eunuch flashed one of his looks at the Chief Scribe, then crossed his eyes comically.\u00a0 The Chief Scribe bent his head closer to the paper.<\/p>\n

\u201cSee, I can say things like that.\u00a0 I\u2019m enlightened.\u00a0 I\u2019m the king!\u00a0 I\u2019m the boss of you!\u00a0 None of that Adonis shit will happen to me, I\u2019ll live forever!\u00a0 So I can be as philosophical as I want.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Chief Scribe cleared his throat and Sock jumped, \u201cSorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, no, I\u2019ll just take it out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll go on.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, boss.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat it means is that 100 grains of sand is hardly the US RDA.\u00a0 Behold, for BOB brought you here to teach you one thing: love and happiness.\u00a0 Those are the two reasons that BOB brought you here for, and always remember those.\u00a0 For if thou no longer keep in mind the love and overall studliness of BOB, your parties will no longer be fun.\u00a0 For, without BOB, all the little ladies that come to your party will be tighter than a stale doughnut.\u201d\u00a0 Sock looked down at his Chief Scribe, who was staring right back up at him.\u00a0 \u201cDid you get that?\u201d<\/p>\n

The Scribe bit his lower lip, \u201cUm\u2026yeah.\u00a0 This is the wisdom for your people, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what I said!\u201d Sock snapped.<\/p>\n

The Chief Scribe jumped slightly, \u201cGood, good, no, I got it, sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI truly doubt that those women would shave above the knees \u2013 \u201c<\/p>\n

\u201cWhich women?\u201d The Scribe asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe tight ones at the party.\u201d\u00a0 Sock replied.<\/p>\n

The Eunuch raised his index finger, \u201cBut aren\u2019t tight women desirable?\u201d<\/p>\n

The Scribe shook his head, \u201cNot tight as in tight, but tight,\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAs in tight,\u201d Sock said.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

The Scribe narrowed his eyes, \u201cAs in uptight.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAh\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, okay,\u201d Sock said, \u201cThis here\u2019s me.\u00a0 Okay?\u00a0 Continues:\u00a0 As all BOB followers should do.\u00a0 Shave above the knees, I mean.\u00a0 A true woman puts out\u2026none of these games.\u00a0 Shit.\u00a0 But if you reject BOB\u2019s ways, you know what\u2019s in store for you sunshine?\u00a0 You will be cursed with Freshmen, who shall plague your parties like cold sores and drive away your upper-class friends.\u00a0 Without BOB, all that you know will be forgotten.\u00a0 You who follow the path of evil, you shall never be forgiven in the eyes of BOB.\u00a0 Instead, you shall be hung from a ceiling fan by your very own pubic hair.\u00a0 You shall be forced to remove every fuse in the fuse box while soaking wet.\u00a0 Behold, for our BOB is always with us.<\/p>\n

\u201cVengeance is mine, sayeth BOB, so fuck you.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Scribe started laughing, but then clammed up with Sock stared at him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m BOBdamned serious, cunt!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We have new readers at GS!\u00a0 What the fuck is The Boble?\u00a0 Roll back to the Intro for this little corner of my sad blog.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[55],"tags":[115,150],"class_list":["post-335","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-boblehub-20","tag-boble","tag-old-testicle"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/335","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=335"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/335\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":872,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/335\/revisions\/872"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=335"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=335"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=335"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}