Chapter Three
\n“In Which Dil Takes Over”\n<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Radio Free Dil started broadcasting on the 12th of May in the year of our\u2026 Um\u2026 The year 5467 JU (6754 FG, 7654 KS, 13:25 Atlantis North time, Sunday the 9th of July Lemuria time). It was run by Chico \u201cVasquez\u201d Villa Loba del Santino. Chico was Dil\u2019s army organizer and \u201cangry brown companion.\u201d Not to suggest further homosexual acts, but Dil had developed a taste for Latinos. It was the food that did it\u2026spicy, hot. Brutal burning as the flames bit into\u2026<\/p>\n
So Chico broadcast from the badlands border, touting the glories of Dil to all that had a crystal set. The people began to become convinced that Dil was the way to go, and the time was soon right for revolution.<\/p>\n
Dil returned to the city in a triumphant crowd of well-wishers. His troops spread throughout the key military and civilian locations. Saw\u2019s troops were crippled, and it looked as if Dil would take power.<\/p>\n
Meanwhile, In Bob Heavens (where there is NaughtyGrrl(tm) sausage) BOB\u2019s adjutant angel slipped into the \u201cImperial Bed Chambers.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cUm\u2026boss?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCall me Imperator, worm!\u201d BOB cried from the bed.<\/p>\n
The chambers were huge, the size of a city block. They were empty, except for one gigantic bed.\u00a0 Upon that bed, BOB had tied a redheaded peppermint flavoured angel to four stakes so that she was spread-eagled, her ass in the air. Her red hair had been tied into two pig tails, and her engorged pepperminty goodness was being massaged by the great deity.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy Lord Imperator, Heathen King of the Western Pale and Master of the Dark Knights, may I have a word?\u201d the adjutant angel growled sourly, averting his eyes from the redheaded angel-minx.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat is it worm?\u201d<\/p>\n
The angel cleared his throat, \u201cA plague has struck Antara 3, and – \u201c<\/p>\n
\u201cYou dare come to my chamber for business?\u201d BOB asked, \u201cBegone worm!\u00a0 Away!\u201d BOB shouted, and the adjutant angel quickly scurried from the room.<\/p>\n
The luscious redheaded angel craned her neck, looking awkwardly at the great BOB. \u201cI\u2019ve been a bad girl, daddy\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou bet you have you cheap whore,\u201d BOB replied, \u201cDaddy is disgusted.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI spilled daddy\u2019s milk.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n
BOB slapped her ass as hard as he could, leaving a bright red mark, \u201cYou\u2019re a dirty girl!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m a naughty girl!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cA dirty girl!\u201d BOB unleashed his greatness.\u00a0 Fade to black.<\/p>\n
Dil\u2019s troops were in position, and so the child-king approached the imperial palace. Taking the palace was easy, for the guards – weary of Saw\u2019s wicked perversions \u2013 were glad to let Dil cross the threshold. Saw was defeated.\u00a0 In order for Saw not to foil future plans, Dil had the former king stripped of all his clothes and released in the red light district.<\/p>\n
It was at this time that Sammy died. You remember Sammy, right?\u00a0 Oh, and by the way, Dil also killed some giant called Googolplex…or something.\u00a0 Rumor has it that he had to use a large kazoo filled with pebbles, but Dil seems to ignore these rumors…<\/p>\n
Dil, in his happiness, wrote a song and sung it over the P.A.. In later years, the song would be analyzed by Bobologists and psychiatrists alike. See if you reach the same conclusion as they:<\/p>\n
\u201cDown to hell, I sent Saw.\u00a0 Ha, ha, ha!
\nI’ll send any of you if you disobey me.
\nIt hurts me to see people starving.
\nShame I’m too busy with my turkey, carving.
\n(Chorus: Giggle insanely)
\nGod BOB gave me my power.
\nOh you, I am a tower.
\nDo you see my flower?
\n(Chorus: Snakes, snakes, get ’em offa me!!)<\/p><\/blockquote>\nThere was no theme, and the words were just spoken in a strange type of chant. Yes, Dil was in power all right.<\/p>\n
Dil became king of all the lands and ruled with authority and power.\u00a0 He created soup lines for his Hebos, and laced the soup pots with downers.\u00a0 Thus the kingdom did little against him. So it can be said, from the official viewpoint, that everyone lived happily ever after.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Chapter Three “In Which Dil Takes Over” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[55],"tags":[115,150],"class_list":["post-321","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-boblehub-20","tag-boble","tag-old-testicle"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/321","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=321"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/321\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":940,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/321\/revisions\/940"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=321"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=321"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=321"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}