Chapter Six
\n\u201cThe Plutonium Serpent\u201d
\n<\/p>\n
It took Blo a week to journey back down the mountain.\u00a0 You gotta take things like that real slow, man.\u00a0 He spent his long days thinking about the word \u201ccommunity.\u201d\u00a0 His conclusions were simple: A body of people living in the same place under the same laws; also:\u00a0 a natural population of plants and animals occupying a common area.\u00a0 Society at large.\u00a0 Joint ownership.\u00a0 See: Agreement, concord.<\/p>\n
At least, that was what was in the alien guidebook that BOB had given him for nighttime reading.<\/p>\n
Meanwhile, below, the Hebos decided to knock over a nuclear power plant and build a serpent from the stolen plutonium.\u00a0 Glowing a neon blue and gold, the serpent rose up and defied Bob Heavens (where everyone has a big sausage).<\/p>\n
The people sang and danced around the serpent and began to do immature things as if they were freshmen.\u00a0 They had turned over to the evil, Eternal Freshman: False Rob.\u00a0 They had allowed themselves to fall under the jurisdiction of False Rob’s loathsome puppet administrator, the Evil Mr. Bishop.\u00a0 For the Evil Mr. Bishop, when in Human form, often occupied the position of a High School Vice Principal, or a small college’s Financial Aid Advisor.<\/p>\n
Blo returned and saw this horrible thing. In anger, he called upon those Hebos who still followed him.<\/p>\n
\u201cHi boss,\u201d his main lieutenant said.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat in BOB\u2019s name\u2026?\u201d Blo was beyond the ability to express himself.<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, things got a little out of control, boss.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI was only gone nine days\u2026.what happened to the meaningless golden idol?\u201d<\/p>\n
The lieutenant shrugged. \u201cWell, the meaningless idol failed to answer the deeper questions about our own existence, and so the people decided to turn to a higher authority. This here is the Plutonium Serpent. It\u2019s radioactive.\u201d<\/p>\n
Blo grimaced, then a dark anger flashed before his face. He issued the order to his loyal followers to go about and kill everyone.\u00a0 And so they did, and threw the serpent into the river.<\/p>\n
Then Blo said unto the survivors, \u201cYou have performed a great wrong in the eyes of BOB!\u00a0 You filthy swine make my urine sting!\u00a0 Now I shall go forth and commune with he who is BOB.\u201d<\/p>\n
BOB decided, upon talking with Blo, to give everyone painful genital disorders.\u00a0 Stunned and hurting, the people limped after Blo to the holy land. There were no more incidents with false idols for many weeks.<\/p>\n
And so the Hebos took over the holy land again and ruled where Abrahamilton had.\u00a0 Blo was glorified, and was offered many movie deals.\u00a0 An ark was built to hold the commandments, and everything looked like it was really going to shape up for a change.<\/p>\n
The Hebos, now no longer slaves, began to develop the community envisioned by Blo. They choose to continue this really painful story into the next chapters.\u00a0 But don’t worry, the books are getting smaller and smaller as time goes on.<\/p>\n
Blo died at some exaggerated age, and the Hebos had a party – for they were tired of running around at the whim of an old man.\u00a0 A newer, younger government…that’s what they needed.\u00a0 So they voted Democratic and hoped for the best.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Chapter Six \u201cThe Plutonium Serpent\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[55],"tags":[115,150],"class_list":["post-307","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-boblehub-20","tag-boble","tag-old-testicle"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/307","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=307"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/307\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":953,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/307\/revisions\/953"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=307"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=307"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=307"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}