{"id":279,"date":"2008-12-30T06:33:41","date_gmt":"2008-12-30T11:33:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.greatsociety.org\/?p=279"},"modified":"2018-10-31T09:08:42","modified_gmt":"2018-10-31T13:08:42","slug":"the-mob","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/?p=279","title":{"rendered":"The Mob"},"content":{"rendered":"

Since I have a tremendous amount of free time at my day job, I\u2019m constantly looking out for distractions.\u00a0 It was the six hours a day twiddling my thumbs that inspired me to marathon Star Trek: The Next Generation<\/em>, which I\u2019ve been detailing ritualistically in the forums.<\/a><\/p>\n

But that show gets on your tits after awhile and, to avoid jumping from the roof of my 12-storey building, I\u2019ve been looking for more distractions.<\/p>\n


\nFirst, I want to say that Commander Riker is really sexy.\u00a0 And will Data ever become human?\u00a0 And why is Troi not at all hot anymore?\u00a0 And will the Borg waste tons of time trying on summer dresses at Kohl\u2019s?\u00a0 Jesus Christ, we were supposed to meet Sally an hour ago!\u00a0 You\u2019d think you were addicted to shopping!<\/p>\n

On the productive side, I picked up two new jobs.\u00a0 Bringing my job count to five.\u00a0 I love working five jobs and still failing to meet my monthly bills!\u00a0 I think that\u2019s awesome!<\/p>\n

Well, to be fair, one job is seasonal \u2013 and this is the off season.\u00a0 Well, sort of<\/a>.\u00a0 Another job is publishing, which doesn\u2019t really pay.<\/p>\n

The two new jobs are business writing gigs which pay quarterly.\u00a0 And I hate structured writing jobs like them because they steal creativity.\u00a0 After you write a few thousand extremely dry words on a boring topic based on a write-by-numbers formula, all you can do is go home and remove the language center of your brain and put it in a jar of gin.<\/p>\n

Unless you have a cool typewriter you picked up from that antique shop in Friday the 13th: The Series.\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

Great American Novel here we go!\u00a0 \u201cIt was a dark and stormy night \u2013\u201c<\/em><\/p>\n

Oh\u2026you need more blood?\u00a0 But I just soaked the ribbon in a pool of the meter man\u2019s gore.<\/p>\n

I also hate being paid quarterly.\u00a0 That means I\u2019m going to spend the next few months wondering if I\u2019m actually going to see any money.<\/p>\n

Of course, while I may have five jobs, my overall principles insist that all of the jobs be suitable for the truly lazy.\u00a0 Because I have to finish my TNG <\/em>marathon!\u00a0 Then move on to Voyager<\/em>.\u00a0 I\u2019m skipping DS9 <\/em>because the only good thing about that show was Terry Farrell.\u00a0 I\u2019m also skipping Enterprise <\/em>because I couldn\u2019t watch it the first time around.<\/p>\n

But Voyager <\/em>I remember clearly and watched all the way through.\u00a0 Well, I remember Jeri Ryan.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what else was happening.\u00a0 Something about a spaceship run by a magical elf.<\/p>\n

Right now, I can manage about four TNG <\/em>episodes a day.\u00a0 They gave us two screens on our work computers in what I can only assume is a free license to use the second screen for porn downloads, watching shows, and writing\u00a0 \u201ccock\u201d over and over again for ten pages, then making it into a big font with glitter effects.<\/p>\n

My other distraction is solitaire, which is dangerous<\/a>, and Battlechess.\u00a0 Remember that from Windows 3.1?\u00a0 It\u2019s really gay.\u00a0 Cock cock cock.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve also become hopelessly addicted to Mob Wars on Facebook <\/a>which, as far as I can tell, is just an elaborate advertisement for something.\u00a0 You buy up property to make money, build up a \u201cmob,\u201d and then arm them with guns and cars and shit like that.\u00a0 Then you just build up your coffers and buy more property.\u00a0 Meanwhile, all of the scary Facebook people who are also playing are attacking you randomly.\u00a0 I hate playing these online computer games because all the other retards online scare the hell out of me.\u00a0 I automatically assume everybody online is a pervert because, really, what else is there to do with the internet except expand on and become deeply entrenched in your personal perversions?<\/p>\n

Anyway, come join my mob<\/a>\u00a0 so we can ruthlessly attack 12 year olds calling themselves \u201cMobster Boss Xtreem\u201d.\u00a0 Then you can watch me get angry, drive to Mobster Boss Xtreem\u2019s house, and murder his family.\u00a0 Which will be great for my demon-possessed typewriter.<\/p>\n

\u201c– when she walked into my office.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Since I have a tremendous amount of free time at my day job, I\u2019m constantly looking out for distractions.\u00a0 It was the six hours a day twiddling my thumbs that inspired me to marathon Star Trek: The Next Generation, which …<\/p>\n

The Mob<\/span> Read More »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[186,185],"class_list":["post-279","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-wage-slave","tag-forums","tag-star-trek-tng"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/279","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=279"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/279\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":985,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/279\/revisions\/985"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=279"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=279"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=279"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}