![](\"http:\/\/www.greatsociety.org\/uploads\/userfiles\/3\/dino1.jpg\")
<\/p>\nMy family has abandoned me, which might be a good thing, so Christmas will be spent alone with my life-size Jonathan Frakes inflatable doll.<\/p>\n
Well, not entirely true.\u00a0 I whined on the forums about being alone for Christmas and the invites came in.\u00a0 I opted for the most lubricated invite (speaking of dolls) \u2013 dinner with my uncle\u2019s German girlfriend,\u00a0 who happily told me that she had just finished purchasing 00 of alcohol from some sort of liquor Costco-style Mecca in deepest Virginia.\u00a0 Most of that is for her large and loud family, all of whom are, as far as I\u2019ve been able to tell, enormously drunk all of the time.<\/p>\n
\u201cDinner\u201d starts at noon.<\/p>\n
In the meantime, with my grandmother now in that \u201chappier place,\u201d wherever that\u2019s supposed to be (I asked the preacher if she was at the Hagerstown Outlet Mall, because she was always very happy there), I\u2019ve been lacking in presents. When I whined about that on GS, people took action.\u00a0 And my friends in England also sent some gifts, which was unexpected.\u00a0 I like that everyone feels sorry for me, because that allowed me to create the Dinosaur Tree for Christmas!<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Actually, I have a suitable tree\u2026 The Out of Control Houseplant Christmas.\u00a0 But that goddamned thing is the main reason why I never want to move again.\u00a0 I have to take that down four flights of stairs if I move.\u00a0 I should have taken a picture of that, as well, but then I started drinking the Stoli.<\/p>\n
So I\u2019ll sit alone with a bottle of brandy and open everyone\u2019s gifts in the morning, and you can follow along in the forums right here<\/a>.<\/p>\n