{"id":264,"date":"2008-11-25T06:05:06","date_gmt":"2008-11-25T11:05:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.greatsociety.org\/?p=264"},"modified":"2018-10-31T09:20:42","modified_gmt":"2018-10-31T13:20:42","slug":"holidays","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/?p=264","title":{"rendered":"Holidays"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ah, Thanksgiving.\u00a0 The first major milestone in my seasonal affective disorder.\u00a0 If I make it to Thanksgiving, I know I\u2019ll survive Christmas.\u00a0 And then there\u2019s the long haul through January and February where I don\u2019t have to worry about family nonsense, but I do have to sit around wondering why I never see the sun on workdays and if that\u2019s healthy.<\/p>\n

My supervisor says it is healthy.\u00a0 She tells me that my job is bettering Humanity and myself.\u00a0 Phone service at a little NPO with no hope of promotion and 20% below the local poverty line.\u00a0 I wonder if my supervisor thinks monkeys and comical 1960\u2019s robotic arms are also furthering Humanity.<\/p>\n


\nI\u2019ve always had this seasonal affective disorder thing because my dad abandoned us and my mom was a lunatic and the rest of my family are androids.\u00a0 Since I can remember, I\u2019ve writhed in the dark hell that is Thanksgiving and Christmas.\u00a0 Good food in overheated houses with people who don\u2019t know how to talk to each other.\u00a0 I feel out of place if I eat turkey at any time of year in a house where the heat isn\u2019t turned up to 99.<\/p>\n

Another root cause is retail.\u00a0 My first job from 1991 through 1997. I got Christmas and New Years off, so I was better than some, but every other holiday saw me stacking books, or standing behind a counter, dealing with the scum of the Earth who, seemingly through some dark magic, had the days off and regular jobs and real lives.<\/p>\n

After retail, I worked for the AP running the news wires.\u00a0 You know, those need to be edited and sent out by hand each day.\u00a0 For two years, I worked every single day of the year.\u00a0 The deadline was at 10am and 3pm and the job was 25 miles away so, come Christmas morning, I had to run out in the AM to get to the office, shoot out the wires, and then decide if I was going to go back home or hang around till 3pm.\u00a0 These days, of course, I could do that remotely.\u00a0 I probably could have then, but my boss was a cunt and I hope he\u2019s choking on something right now.<\/p>\n

I haven\u2019t worked on a holiday since 1999 and, yet, I\u2019m still in awe of the day off.\u00a0 Currently, with a weekend job, and with the searing memory of retail and the AP job, there\u2019s not a single weekend day or holiday where I don\u2019t wake up thinking that I have to be somewhere.\u00a0 Even if I\u2019m on vacation somewhere far away, I wake up thinking, oh my god, it\u2019s 8am!\u00a0 I\u2019m late!\u00a0 For\u2026something!<\/p>\n

I believe it\u2019s this compulsion that has led to me being an early riser.\u00a0 8am is actually very late for me.\u00a0 I\u2019m usually up at six or seven, even when I\u2019m not working.\u00a0 Sometimes this is nice.\u00a0 The days are much longer and relaxing once I realize that I can spend the entire time in a torn, filthy bathrobe drinking coffee and watching Doctor Who<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Lately, my friends have been trying to involve me in things over the holidays.\u00a0 No doubt they fear I\u2019m going to hang myself in the shower or something.\u00a0 This year, I\u2019m off to West Virginia for a non-traditional, laid back Thanksgiving.\u00a0 No big event or meal, just a change of scenery, really.\u00a0 And marathoning all five seasons of Angel<\/em>, which will be a big adjustment from my current efforts to marathon Star Trek: The Next Generation<\/em>, which I\u2019ve been detailing episode by episode right here<\/a>.\u00a0 Also, please come to the bus stop tomorrow morning and shoot me in the face.<\/p>\n

I have no plans for Christmas, though there is a weekend-long celebration in dreaded Virginia the week before.\u00a0 My good friend Lonnie is putting me up for two days and serving some sort of fancy dinner.\u00a0 Christmas Day, I\u2019ll probably end up at my uncle\u2019s girlfriend\u2019s house for dinner, though my current plan is to lie low.<\/p>\n

If there\u2019s one thing I\u2019ve come to covet, it\u2019s living alone.\u00a0 Something that won\u2019t last much longer.\u00a0 It\u2019s so much easier to be depressive during the winter when no one is around to tell you to buck up, or invite you to an event (like the uncle\u2019s girlfriend) that makes you realize how terrible your family really is.\u00a0 I really might avoid her invite this year, because it was hard last year.\u00a0 Everyone was drunk and happy, a whole family laughing and screaming and eating and having a beautiful time.<\/p>\n

Christmas for us consisted of timed present opening \u2013 start at 8am, finish by 9am.\u00a0 Then clean up everything right away.\u00a0 Sometimes, my grandfather would stand over us with a big trash bag and grab the wrapping paper as soon as it came off, stuffing it down into the bulging Hefty bag.<\/p>\n

Then everyone would complain about the need to eat breakfast, and my little cousin would get pissed off because the $1000 worth of presents weren\u2019t enough. She\u2019s famous for opening them robotically, all in a row as fast as she can, and then throwing them over her shoulder without looking.\u00a0 Nobody would say anything.\u00a0 We\u2019d just watch as she\u2019d tear in, unwrap, toss, repeat.<\/p>\n

Then she would usually leave, not taking any of the presents, and not saying a word, and go to her room to punch holes in the wall or something.<\/p>\n

The presents, for our family, weren\u2019t a guessing game.\u00a0 We all had to provide the other family members with a list no later than October 15th, and the list would be followed to the letter.\u00a0 There was no goofy leeway or creativity.\u00a0 The List would dominate conversation and, if you dragged your heels, it would often be the first topic of argument at Thanksgiving.\u00a0 Where\u2019s the Christmas list?\u00a0 Get it in by December 1st or no presents!<\/p>\n

After the gift opening, we\u2019d go to the kitchen and have cold cuts and cheese for breakfast, which was unintentionally European.\u00a0 Then we\u2019d all retire to our own individual TV sets and zone out until dinnertime, 5pm, where we\u2019d hurry through the meal, have coffee, then split up and go our separate ways.\u00a0 Those of us living in the house would return to the TV, and those visiting would go home.<\/p>\n

Drinking was always forbidden, except for the occasional glass of wine and sneaking beer under the basement stairs.<\/p>\n

Thanksgiving was much the same, except there wasn\u2019t the trouble of the morning.\u00a0 Nothing would happen till 4:45, when visiting family were told to arrive and the rest of us were called to the table.\u00a0 Sit down and eat promptly at 5pm, done by 6pm.\u00a0 Then visiting family would leave and everyone else would go back to the TV.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s handy if you\u2019re part of the visiting family.\u00a0 You only have to be out for an hour, two at the most, then you can head home, or go to a second Thanksgiving with friends or whatever.<\/p>\n

There wouldn\u2019t be much talking during the meals, except for complaints. Christmas and Thanksgiving dinner would be a time to air grievances.\u00a0 All the complaints about family members that had built up over the year.\u00a0 Attitudes, failure to keep in touch, choices in life\u2026 My gift-tossing cousin would refuse food and just spoon feed herself butter, or mustard.\u00a0 She\u2019s always had a weird obsession with condiments.\u00a0 When that would annoy my grandparents, a fight would ensue.\u00a0 The cousin typically didn\u2019t last more than 10 minutes at the table before throwing a fit and running away, slamming doors and knocking over whatever was in her path.<\/p>\n

In my youth, the dinners were all about antagonizing my mom (or, if the drugs allowed her, mom would take the offensive and antagonize everyone else).\u00a0 Later, we moved slowly into a scenario where I was the focus.\u00a0 What\u2019s wrong with me?\u00a0 Why don\u2019t I have a higher degree?\u00a0 A girlfriend?\u00a0 A better job?\u00a0 A house?\u00a0 I suppose that\u2019s normal family stuff.<\/p>\n

Maybe all of this is normal family stuff?\u00a0 Maybe the ideal Christmas morning, and holiday dinner, is just stuff from the movies?\u00a0 Maybe everyone is eating in overheated houses while being badgered to death and watching their cousin drink entire bottles of mustard and call the family elders \u201ccocksuckers\u201d and \u201cmotherfuckers\u201d if they ask her to stop.<\/p>\n

Oh, god, Thanksgiving.\u00a0 I won\u2019t be having Thanksgiving dinner with any family this year, and yet I lie awake every night this week in dread of the day.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ah, Thanksgiving.\u00a0 The first major milestone in my seasonal affective disorder.\u00a0 If I make it to Thanksgiving, I know I\u2019ll survive Christmas.\u00a0 And then there\u2019s the long haul through January and February where I don\u2019t have to worry about family …<\/p>\n

Holidays<\/span> Read More »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[122],"class_list":["post-264","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-rants","tag-holidays"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/264","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=264"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/264\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1007,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/264\/revisions\/1007"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=264"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=264"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=264"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}