<\/p>\n
I’v fallen prey to something that clearly labels me as a
\ncertain type of a person and exposes a dark secret.\u00a0 This terrible weakness now allows the casual
\nreader to thin me from the herd:<\/p>\n
I am a sci-fi geek. <\/p>\n Since I was watching her intently, as always, I also have to Now I’m not living in my parent’s basement masturbating furiously This led into a barroom argument at the Quarry House because Let’s look at shows that never even got the first season and Like Firefly<\/em>, Nowadays Sci-Fi is putting out off-beat, unexpectedly good Doctor Who<\/em> has So – shows that didn’t make it to a full season.\u00a0 What were the best?\u00a0 I’m going to start with the one and only Voyagers! <\/em>\u00a0hit 20 episodes and was about to embark on a Voyagers!<\/em> was the So, to the meat of the list!<\/p>\n If given three seconds to think about it, the first great The Misfits of Science<\/em> The Misfits included a clumsy black man who had taking Retarded sci-fi comedy at its best.<\/p>\n Just about 20 minutes in our future is the inimitable Max Headroom<\/em> which, despite only running However… However, however.
\nAnd not just the sort who enjoyed Star
\nWars<\/em> and dislikes the path of the franchise, but the type who rallies
\nbehind dreadful, poorly scripted low budget cult-culture and becomes militant if
\nthe “common public” fails to show the right level of respect.\u00a0 The type of hopeless geek who becomes
\ndistracted and vocal whenever there is a sci-fi schism.\u00a0 Right now, there is a schism in the Firefly<\/em> universe with the release of the
\nbig comeback film (or so it’s hoped) Serenity<\/em>.\u00a0 One side says it’s Firefly<\/em>‘s second wind and a sort of pop-cult Star Wars<\/em> for the modern era.
\nMy side says that Serenity<\/em> has
\ndestroyed the Firefly<\/em> franchise.\u00a0 River becomes Buffy, main characters die for
\nno reason, the Reavers become the Wraith (from Stargate: Atlantis<\/em>) and, instead of Blue Sun Corporation, we get a
\nweak as water “parliament.”\u00a0 Serenity<\/em> should have said “based on a
\nshow called Firefly<\/em>.”<\/p>\n
\nsay that Morena Baccarin looks bad on the big screen.\u00a0 Some actors belong on the tube, and some on
\nfilm.\u00a0 It’s not a bad thing, it’s just
\nhow it works.<\/p>\n
\non Star Trek<\/em> action figures, so I can
\nsee the light. I’m thrilled that Serenity<\/em>
\neven got made, because I think Firefly<\/em>
\nis the best sci-fi that never was.\u00a0 I
\nsaid that on our forums, which are populated with a crew of lunatic drunks who
\nfear women, and it got me thinking:\u00a0 What
\nis the quintessential Nacho Sasha list of good sci-fi shows that never were?<\/p>\n
\nthe bartender said Space: 1999<\/em> and I
\nsaid, well, possibly, but it did<\/em> have
\ntwo seasons.\u00a0 So it may have been fucked
\nbrutally by an entire jungle of AIDS monkeys, and the great storylines and
\nwonderful characters that formed a strong first season may have been thrown out
\nin favor of an entire season of watching Landau masturbate onto the camera lens
\nand gag himself with his finger, but the show was<\/em>.\u00a0 It got that second
\nseason.<\/p>\n
\nshould have.\u00a0 Shows that died mid-season before
\nthey completed the 20 episode mark.
\nShows that, like Firefly<\/em>, had
\na certain unique charm and innovation but were shown at 3am and only in Dutch
\nfor reasons mysterious and bizarre.
\nMaybe the networks didn’t understand what they had, maybe they even sabotaged
\nthem on purpose.\u00a0 Or maybe the shows
\nreally did suffer from some crippling, internal injury in the writing
\ndepartment:\u00a0 Fear to explore the
\npotential, or fight against King Censor, or take that extra step.<\/p>\n
\nevery time these shows implode, they turn into cult sensations and fans pay
\nthrough the nose for merchandise for decades, so it’s a mystery to me
\nwhy they failed.\u00a0 In the last few years, you’d
\nthink the networks would figure out that the Sci-Fi channel, which is run by
\ndrunks and madmen, has it right.\u00a0 Will
\nthis show be a hit?\u00a0 Plop,
\nprimetime.\u00a0 Nope?\u00a0 Okay, cancel.
\nHow about…this one!\u00a0 Plop.<\/p>\n
\nsci fi that beats the network broadcasting.
\nIn the case of the new Battlestar Galactica<\/em>, especially, just
\nabout every sci-fi geek is sitting back in awe.
\nAnd so are the intolerant networks.
\nBSG is the “did you hear that boom?” show.\u00a0 I am remake, hear me roar.\u00a0 Like the Doctor
\nWho<\/em> remake, not aired in the US, BSG<\/em> gathers ratings around it like ducklings and is currently being
\nrenewed for multiple seasons.<\/p>\n
\nbeen renewed for four years and, to be honest, I really don’t think they know
\nwhat they’re doing as we creep closer to the spring launch for the second
\nseason.\u00a0 Deep down in my heart, I must
\nacknowledge that the comeback season was nostalgic pap that just doesn’t have a
\nlasting punch.\u00a0 They’re also starting up
\na Doctor Who<\/em> spinoff.\u00a0 It’s an entertainment rush somewhat reminiscent
\nof the Roman army hitting your provincial capital on a bad day. \u00a0Since it’s not being aired in the US, the new Doctor Who<\/em>, in an American’s eyes, may
\nwell be the best sci-fi that never was, given time.\u00a0 But that’s hardly relevant in the world of torrents.<\/p>\n
\nexception to this self-imposed rule:\u00a0 Voyagers!<\/em><\/p>\n
\nsecond season, with a new twist, but Jon-Erik Hexum blew his head off
\n“accidentally” on a movie set.<\/p>\n
\nstory of a bumbling adventurer, part of a futuristic society (we later
\nlearn)
\nwho send agents around to correct problems in the timeline caused
\nby…whatever.\u00a0 There aren’t any bad guys,
\nno ulterior motives, just slight tweaks that need to be made.
\nTime traveling janitors!\u00a0 An electrical storm sends the bumbling
\nadventurer,
\nHexum, well out of the range of his little time travel device, the
\nOmni.\u00a0 (Every Voyager specializes on a certain
\nperiod, and they use antique pocket watches to zip around.) Crashing
\ninto the
\n80’s, he picks up a rat-haired kid and they get trapped in time since
\nthe Omni
\nwas shorted out by the storm.\u00a0 Easy.\u00a0 Lucky for everyone, the
\nkid’s a history
\ngeek.\u00a0 It’s mindless, simple fun.\u00a0 Hexum always falls for a
\ngirl or does something
\nstupid, the kid then has to take over and make sure things work
\nout.\u00a0 They meet historical folks, run from Nazis,
\nget bombed, save children and meet beautiful women every week while
\ntrading
\nbarbs and getting embroiled in comic problems. \u00a0You hate it when
\nyou watch it but, when you’re
\nthrough with the season, you have to watch it again because, a week
\nlater, you
\nsuddenly love it.\u00a0 It’s a virus.<\/p>\n
\nshow that never was is Wizards &
\nWarriors<\/em>.\u00a0 CBS’s 1983 fantasy
\ndirected by Bill Bixby.\u00a0 Basically, it’s
\nwhat Team Raimi used to put together their Xena\/Hercules franchise.\u00a0 Monsters, magic, and totally offbeat comedy that
\nmade no sense in 1983 but is beautiful in 2005.
\nRunning for only eight episodes before CBS executed everyone involved, the
\nshow followed wise-cracking Prince Erik Greystone, his Herculean sidekick and
\nhis Bruce Campbell-esque brother on sword and sorcery adventures through the
\nland.\u00a0 Constantly at odds with a
\nneighboring evil prince, flirting with a barrage of hottie witches and always
\ngetting into some sort of comic trouble, the show was really a brutal satire on
\nthe genre.<\/p>\n
\nenjoyed 17 episodes before it vanished forever.
\nAnti-corporate biological researchers gather a team of kids with weird
\nsuperpowers to do battle with the dreaded Humanidyne Company and… Oh, I don’t
\nknow.\u00a0 It’s like Rat Patrol<\/em> with stupid kid comedy and rockstars who control
\nlightning when they play guitar. \u00a0The
\nshow was a sacrificial lamb from the beginning, scheduled against Dynasty<\/em> in its glory days.\u00a0 Misfits<\/em>
\nwasn’t even a contender – zany comedy and lighthearted stories.\u00a0 Though fate would have taken a hand, anyway,
\nsince the creator and two main stars died in a plane crash about a week after Misfits<\/em> was cancelled.<\/p>\n
\ngrowth drugs and was now 9 feet tall, but shrunk to the size of an action
\nfigure if you touched the right spot on his head, the telekinetic girl played
\nby Courtney Cox, the rock star who controlled lightning and their father-figure
\nscientist leader.\u00a0 All against the great
\nMax Wright, heading up the evil corporation.<\/p>\n
\nfor 14 episodes, was a cult sensation.\u00a0 I’ve
\nhad die-hard fans tell me that Max was killed by New Coke.\u00a0 If you caught me after a few drinks in my
\nlocal dive, I’d believe you. \u00a0\u00a0Being Coke’s
\nad idol during the changeover, and running the show at the same time, I wouldn’t
\nbe surprised if the massive backlash against New Coke did, indeed, crush any
\nhopes for the series to continue. The truth is that the American remake and
\nresulting series lacked what made Headroom a star.\u00a0 Headroom launched first in the UK as a dark,
\nangry and compelling sci-fi movie which, for the time, was just about as
\noriginal as you can get.\u00a0 Even comparing
\nit to Tron<\/em>, which is the most obvious
\nsource for the material, is difficult.\u00a0 There
\nwas nothing quite like it.\u00a0 But, when it jumped
\nthe pond, it also jumped the shark.\u00a0 The
\nAmerican version cleaned up the dystopia and the storyline and, while still
\nstrangely brilliant, it ended up being just what it was by that point – a major
\ncorporate advertising machine.\u00a0 Oh, and
\npoorly written, vaguely tedious and shameful compared to Headroom Phase One.<\/p>\n
\nHeadroom had broken a mold, and if left to its own devices, I can’t help
\nbut wonder what it could have been.\u00a0 I
\nwatched it and I loved it, even though I knew the crimes it had committed.<\/p>\n