<\/p>\n
Every night, before I go to bed, I kneel and pray to the Great God of Fuck.\u00a0 I thank him for clit piercings, tits, fallen Catholic girls, cum sluts, suppressed gag reflexes, witchy girls and, above all, shaved pussies.<\/p>\n
Shaved pussies are new to the mainstream.\u00a0 Porn made the switch in the 90’s, after two decades of clever trimming (still a childish passion amongst the less secure starlets) and, now, in this new millennium, ordinary women have taken up the banner.\u00a0 What was rare and exciting in a girlfriend is now the standard.\u00a0 The bare old puss parading around, ready for the world.\u00a0 Even the stubble phase is exciting.\u00a0 Just seeing the old girl out there and waiting drags the patient observer deeper into the fray than would the old mass of tangled monkey hair.\u00a0 In my youth, I so dreaded eating a woman out.\u00a0 Now, the path is clear.\u00a0 Ride forth.\u00a0 Tongue, boy, tongue.\u00a0 Return with nothing stuck in your teeth.\u00a0 (Hopefully.)\u00a0 Take air without breathing through the mass of delicate curls.\u00a0 The only unshaven pussy I enjoyed was this redheaded bitch in 1993.\u00a0 Emily.\u00a0 That patch of red hair was a pleasure mainly because I was checking off a box on my mental goals list.\u00a0 Redhead:\u00a0 Done.\u00a0 When someone talks about doing a redhead, I think about ramming my cock into that patch of fur and…<\/p>\n
I’m sorry.\u00a0 I’m getting a little crazy.\u00a0 This is what it’s like, though, as I pray.\u00a0 A feverish pitch as I clasp my hands together and stare tearfully up towards the Great God of Fuck’s Fucking Heaven and thank him for shaved pussies.\u00a0 It’s not about making a woman more like a child.\u00a0 It’s not like, ha ha, the best thing about eight year olds is slicking their hair back in the shower so they look six.\u00a0 No, it’s about getting to know the vagina.\u00a0 See?\u00a0 It’s a feminist thing.\u00a0 I love becoming involved in meaningless and emotionally abusive relationships with women who shave their pussies because I respect the vagina.\u00a0 I respect it soooo<\/em> much.\u00a0 Oh god.<\/p>\n Plowing fields, parting hedges, splitting muffs… It sounds so much like work, doesn’t it?\u00a0 When I’m with a woman, I don’t want to plow a field.\u00a0 The mere fact that sex is on the plate for the evening means that I’m exhausted.\u00a0 I’ve stumbled through dates and dinners and kisses and foreplay and tours of lives and remembering the names of pets all to cum in some woman when, truthfully, my hand knows the better course, alone in my own bedroom.<\/p>\n Shave the girl and there are no more fields to plow.\u00a0 No muffs to split.\u00a0 The new Shaved Generation says ride my slip’n’slide, marvel at my vaginal jewelry, let’s pretend I’m a little girl and you’re a big, bad priest.\u00a0 Games.\u00a0 Decoration.\u00a0 The Shaved Generation doesn’t want to work, they want to show off their twisted, horrific, meaty flower of womanism and put it in everyone’s face; mine, men around the world, my lesbian ex-girlfriend who secretly pines for fat cock twenty-nine times a day.<\/p>\n Oh, and isn’t beautiful, Dear God of Fuck?\u00a0 I rock back and forth, speaking in tongues, my prayer sessions going longer and longer.\u00a0 Isn’t it beautiful, the Great Shaved Pussy?\u00a0 The virgin mother of the Great God of Fuck’s Throbbing Son.\u00a0 Isn’t it so lovely, those legs spreading, those lips devouring?\u00a0 Uncovered, smooth or stubbly, it’s like going home.\u00a0 It calls.\u00a0 You want to crawl inside like that Michael Jackson Video “Leave Me Alone.”\u00a0 You want to ride the roller coasters and go carts past all the wild monkeys and pictures of Liz Taylor.\u00a0 Swim in the salty seas, through tunnels and chambers, deep into the dark heart of Woman.\u00a0 “This is my body,” says the Great God of Fuck, gasping, clenching, eyes rolled white, sweat-staining the sheets, “do this in memory of me.”\u00a0 Between the legs, lips to lips, spread wide.\u00a0 “This is my blood – ”<\/p>\n When I’m done with my prayers, I lay my head against the comforter and I thank the Great God of Fuck once more for shaven pussies and the soft realm of woman.\u00a0 I pray that he will send me one of his minions and will control her mind and her heart from failing and freaking out and eventually skinning my cat when I don’t return her frail and wicked love.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[352],"tags":[353,160],"class_list":["post-2516","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-gsarchive","tag-gs-archive-2004-2008","tag-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2516","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2516"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2516\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2719,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2516\/revisions\/2719"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2516"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2516"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2516"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}