<\/p>\n
Archive Saturday — crap from my old webpage.\u00a0 Also, I’m hungover.History Week: Tornado!
\nby nacho<\/p>\n
March 25th, 1948. The first tornado prediction is made by Captain
\nRobert Miller at Tinker Air Force Base, Oklahoma. The following comes
\nfrom Captain Miller’s personal diary, a draft for a planned speech at
\nthe 50th reunion dinner in 1998.<\/p>\n
March 20, 1948<\/p>\n
After only 20 days as the forecaster at Tinker AFB, I was jarred from
\nmy restful sleep first by the sound of my staff sergeant masturbating,
\nand then by the vicious vagaries of a massive storm. I was from sunny
\nLA, as was my staff sergeant, so I wasn’t used to anything like this. A
\nmassive cloud of darkness blasting across the empty and desolate
\nplains, Midwesterners scattering like flies… Later, my staff sergeant
\nwould swear it was “raining men.” He was as frightened as I when the
\nstorm hit.<\/p>\n
Our mistake had begun earlier in the day. My staff sergeant, Brian
\nWilcox, and I had been studying the latest weather reports. Four hours
\nbefore the storm hit, the skies were clear and the sun was out. Just
\nlike a normal day in sunny LA. We issued the forecast, “Head to the
\nbeach and enjoy the sun, fellow Oklahomans!” and called it a night.<\/p>\n
We gravely underestimated the Midwest weather.<\/p>\n
Around 9pm, weather stations to the west and southwest of Tinker
\nreported thunderstorms in progress. Using the AN-PQ-13 radar system, a
\ncornerstone of the advanced American radar system developed in May of
\n1945 by Otto Heidrich, we noticed that the thunderstorm cells being
\nreported by the other stations looked particularly ugly. Then a message
\ncame in from the Will Rodgers Airport – “Tornado south. On ground.
\nMoving towards you, Tinkerbells. Another blow to you Air Force pansies!
\nGYMKATA!”<\/p>\n
We knew we were in trouble.<\/p>\n
When Wilcox and I saw the tornado, there was nothing we could do but
\nwatch it wreak havoc across the base. Then, inexplicably, the tornado
\nheld position and began to pulsate. We later learned that several
\nrelics had been belched out of the storm and left scattered on the
\napproach to Hanger 37. Objects which, as impossible as it sounds,
\nappeared to be from another time. Somehow, this particular tornado had
\nopened a tear in the fabric of time and space. Now, we knew that
\nHitler’s Germany had been working on this technology and, towards the
\nend of the war, the Japanese had used this time-vortex against us at
\nOkinawa. In the experimental stages, the Japanese used it to hurl
\nlittle girls from the year 1342 at our front lines in the hopes of
\nshocking our troops. Rumor has it, Hitler had more developed plans for
\nthis tear in the fabric…though, of course, we’ll never know the
\nsecret.<\/p>\n
Wilcox theorized that this was a fluke accident, something that had
\nbeen put in motion by the Axis powers, but our CO -Major E.J.
\nDervishire – suspected something sinister. Could the Soviets have
\ncaptured time-vortex technology?<\/p>\n
The morning after the storm, Wilcox and I were told to set up an accurate prediction protocol for time-vortex storms.<\/p>\n
March 22 – 24, 1948<\/p>\n
For three days, Wilcox and I poured over all of the available
\nstatistics for the storm on the 20th. We noticed certain similarities
\nbetween that storm and previous storms, all of which were ordinary
\ntornado events. With one exception. In 1905, the mayor of Dead Indian
\nBend vanished and there were 14 triplet births on a religious commune
\nup in Wakassessee, OK in conjunction with a possible Vortex Event.. We
\ndiscovered that there was a specific “threat area” and, then, all we
\nhad to do was wait for a repeat. We knew the ins and outs of the storm,
\nwe knew that older storms looked similar. All we had to do was wait for
\nthe warning signs to develop, then we would be able to create an
\naccurate prediction.<\/p>\n
March 25, 1948<\/p>\n
On the morning of the 25th, we noticed a pattern on the charts that
\nalmost exactly matched the morning of the 20th -sunshine and a clear
\nday. Obviously, it was a “threat” day. We took this news to our CO.
\nAfter we explained the situation, he asked if we were going to sound
\nthe Vortex Alert. If we did this, then it meant that all the personnel
\nat the base would quickly group together and deploy the Vortex Net.
\nAfter that, specially trained marines would be sent through the Vortex
\nwith a jeep, a packet of condoms, three starter pistols and 18 sticks
\nof dynamite. To sound this alert, and then have it turn out to be a
\nfalse alarm, would get us in a heap of trouble. I was uneasy until
\nWilcox spoke up.<\/p>\n
“Well… It does look a lot like the 20th.”<\/p>\n
“I guess,” I replied. “We don’t really know, sir. We’re from sunny LA.”<\/p>\n
“You don’t have storms in California?” the major asked.<\/p>\n
“Not in sunny LA.” Wilcox replied sheepishly, eyes downcast.<\/p>\n
The major insisted that we make a decision, so we went ahead with the
\nVortex Alert. The time was 2:50pm. As it turned out, we were correct –
\nexcept what hit us that evening wasn’t a Vortex, it was an ordinary
\ntornado. We had inadvertently placed the first tornado warning and,
\ntherefore, set up a clear and accurate method for predicting tornados –
\nsaving thousands of lives and millions of dollars in property.<\/p>\n
As I write this, it is March 20th, 1998. Fifty years since the events
\nleading up to our historic tornado prediction began. I have returned to
\nTinker AFB with Wilcox and Dervishire for a reunion. It’s good to see
\nmy old friends again.<\/p>\n
We are only a few seconds from the exact time the Vortex woke me up 50 years ago. It should be a –<\/p>\n
(Item 67541, recovered grid ref. AB 765 478. 14:35 on 3\/21\/98. Pocket-sized notepad, torn.)<\/em><\/p>\n <hr width=75%><\/p>\n History Week: Meteor! In 1998, skywatchers and astronomers alike anxiously gathered beneath Let’s get in the time machine with Yesterday’s Weather staff reporter, Day Of Judgment!<\/p>\n 1833, a cold November night in Anytown, USA. You have just gone to bed Only a few hours after you head to bed, you are awakened by a great Yes, scenes like this played out in every American community on the On this night, conditions were ideal. Most of North America enjoyed While scientists watched this supposed “frog storm” with fascination, “My slumber was disturb’d by dis~tressing calls from my Negroes. They Not Judgment Day!<\/p>\n Of course, it was not Judgment Day. This might be due to the fact that The storm also contributed to several millenarian religious revivals – Eventually, after several weeks of anarchy and mass hysteria, Subsequent storms have all been disappointing, as was the 1998 storm.
\nby nacho<\/p>\n
\ntheir telescopes, binoculars and skirts of their mammas. The event: The
\npossible return of the Leonid meteor storm. The date was November 17th
\nand 18th, and scientists hoped for a repeat of the greatest meteor
\nstorm in history – the 1833 Leonids storm, or, the “Night of Raining
\nFire,” as it was known in Germany. Feuernacht shocked the world, led to
\nthe creation of religious cults, and is directly responsible for Andrew
\nJackson’s “No black Catholics” policy, which created social tension in
\nthe United States and, ultimately, led directly to the Civil War.<\/p>\n
\nWebmaster Leff, and take a ride back to 1833. Hopefully Leff is wearing
\npants today.<\/p>\n
\nafter slaughtering Cherokee children and raping Sioux women. Your
\nslaves work hard on the bubblegum trees, and you have lived through
\nanother day without getting a spot of dirt on your impeccably white
\nsuit. You twirl your handlebar moustache and anally rape the Negro
\nhouseboy while tapping your cane against the urn holding the ashes of
\nyour father, Colonel Renoir Lafayette, the famed Revolutionary war hero
\nwho, at the age of 15, rode through the streets of Boston shouting,
\n“Those bloody upstarts have seized the tea shipment! To arms! To arms!”<\/p>\n
\ncommotion in the streets. A fracas, you think to yourself, brought on
\nby the Abolitionist schoolteacher who shows too much ankle. Then
\nsomeone is pounding on your door. At the same instant, you see flares
\nof light outside of your window. The town is afire! You race to the
\nwindow and look down. Crowds are milling in streets, shouting and
\npointing upwards. Tis not the town, tis the heavens! The heavens
\naflame! Streaks of light scream past in a deafening roar, the backdraft
\nfrom the alien saucers whipping down and knocking people to the ground,
\nscorching the thatched roofs and frightening the cattle. Several women
\nlie down and give birth on the spot – especially strange, as they are
\nnot pregnant! It is Judgment Day! YOU ARE GOING TO DIE!<\/p>\n
\nnight of November 12th, 1833. The 1833 Leonids storm was the greatest
\nof it’s kind since the days of Vulva, where Roman Gladiators were
\ncharged with the task of lassoing passing meteors and cracking them
\nopen with giant, silver hammers. For the first time, the study of
\nmeteors was placed on astronomers’ agendas, right beneath the need to
\ndisprove the “cheese moon” theory.<\/p>\n
\nclear skies, and the cosmic eruption in the early hours was visible to
\nall. Tens of thousands of meteors appeared and brilliant fireballs
\nrivaled the moon. Smoke trails snaked through the sky. Up till this
\npoint, people had thought meteors were caused by “frog storms,” lakes
\nthat had suddenly erupted due to geothermal blasts in the unorganized
\nterritories. Amphibians, as was believed at the time, maintained a
\nunique buoyancy once airborne and had a tendency to rain down on
\nhermits and mining communities.<\/p>\n
\nlocal reports indicated widespread panic amongst the general populace.
\nA South Carolina slaveholder wrote about his experience in the South
\nCarolina Mercantile Herald:<\/p>\n
\nare usually a quiet lot, but on this night they dost hath a cacophones
\n(sic) roar. I mov’d out to the verandah and I shouted, ‘Why dost thou
\nshoutest so?’ They then pre~ceded to call out for mercy, shouting
\nprayers to their heathen, Negro god. I took my sword up~on me and began
\nlaying about with a mightily good thrashing to the nearest of the
\nbabbling brutes. Then I saw what appeared to be angels in the sky.
\nSeveral hundred hundreds of lights doth appear, and I knew that my
\nactions were sacred to God. I expired thirty expensive brutes that
\nnight to show my faith!”<\/p>\n
\nthere is no such thing as a “Judgment Day,” but, more importantly, the
\nmeteor storm was nothing new. People had seen it before. But, in 1833,
\nafter the Educational Purification practices put into effect by Thomas
\nJefferson in 1802, there was no “official” history beyond 1781.<\/p>\n
\na blossoming psychosis in 1830’s U.S. that is responsible for the
\nscript idea for Poltergeist II. Many of these millenarian sects remain
\ntoday, like the Catholics.<\/p>\n
\nscientists uncovered the truth. As it turns out, the Leonids storm had
\nbeen returning to earth every 30 years. Only three other displays,
\nhowever, rivaled that of the 1833 show. First reported by Leonidite
\nhunters on cave walls, the storm had been part of human history from
\nthe very beginning. The Leonidites were pottery makers and artists,
\ndriven into the ocean by advancing Mongol hordes in 1456 BC. Or
\nsomething…we don’t really know. But they did give their name to the
\nmeteorites. That’s the important thing.<\/p>\n
\nBut, hopefully in 2028, when history is once again forgotten, the world
\nwill be pitched over the edge of anarchy by the next Leonids
\nvisitation.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[352],"tags":[353],"class_list":["post-2466","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-gsarchive","tag-gs-archive-2004-2008"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2466","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2466"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2466\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2851,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2466\/revisions\/2851"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2466"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2466"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2466"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}