{"id":244,"date":"2008-10-20T09:02:06","date_gmt":"2008-10-20T14:02:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.greatsociety.org\/?p=244"},"modified":"2018-10-31T09:34:54","modified_gmt":"2018-10-31T13:34:54","slug":"nacho-online","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/?p=244","title":{"rendered":"Nacho Online"},"content":{"rendered":"

As a result of boredom and too much wine, I expanded my online presence yesterday with one of those Facebook accounts.
\n<\/a>
\nI have no idea what you\u2019re supposed to do with that shit, but everyone seems to be a part of it.\u00a0 Including lots of people from my past that I never want in my life\u2026ever.<\/p>\n


\nSupposedly it\u2019s good for networking.\u00a0 But, really, if it doesn\u2019t get me money or get me laid, I\u2019ll quickly lose interest.\u00a0 Like I did with my Myspace account<\/a> and, long ago, Livejournal.<\/p>\n

But I\u2019m always obsessed with having lots of friends, because that\u2019s a status thing in this internet world.\u00a0 If I have lots of friends, then I\u2019ll be popular and punk rock girls will come to my house and do lines of cocaine off of my penis while I watch vintage Doctor Who episodes and drink gin out of Dixie cups and hum tunelessly to myself\u2026which, ideally, is how I\u2019ll spend my entire winter as soon as my weekend job slows down the middle of next month.<\/p>\n

Given that I may or may not have spare time in my near future, maybe I\u2019ll make an effort to update these various social networking shitholes of the internet.\u00a0 I\u2019ll get good and drunk and post whatever shit I\u2019m supposed to.<\/p>\n

Though posting while drunk is bad because I sometimes get words confused.\u00a0 For example, I replied to a Freecycle ad for a \u201crotating media storage tower\u201d because, I swear, I read, \u201crotating knife tower,\u201d and that just seemed so cool.<\/p>\n

Rotating knife tower!\u00a0 Lean it against your neighbor\u2019s door at 5am on a Saturday and then knock!\u00a0 Put it in the kitchen when you have guests and then unscrew the lightbulbs!\u00a0 Drop it in the stall when your girlfriend is taking a shower!<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t have a girlfriend, or house guests, or a neighbor who answers his door.\u00a0 But, you know, if I did have those things I\u2019d introduce them to my rotating knife tower.\u00a0 I probably don\u2019t have any of those things, though, because I\u2019m always wearing a Jigsaw puppet Halloween outfit.<\/p>\n

I asked in the email if the rotating tower came with knives or if I would have to provide my own.\u00a0 The \u201cFreecycler,\u201d as those faggot cunts refer to themselves, has not replied yet.<\/p>\n

Also, Freecycle is a ridiculous scam and I\u2019m convinced I\u2019m really reading ads for prostitutes.\u00a0 \u201cFree pillow: 20901.\u201d<\/p>\n

Why would anyone want a used pillow?<\/p>\n

Maybe I should post.\u00a0 \u201cWanted:\u00a0 Rotating knife tower and unsuspecting yet submissive girlfriend to use it on: 20901.\u201d<\/p>\n

Dear rotating knife tower, this is free pillow, I charge a low fee to be submissive.<\/p>\n

I guess Freecycle is better than Craigslist\u2026which has become a site for prostitutes.\u00a0 Electronics for sale: Real girlfriend experience, meet behind Champion Billiards, Rockville, at 3am Monday.<\/p>\n

Which, perhaps somewhat sadly, appeals to me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As a result of boredom and too much wine, I expanded my online presence yesterday with one of those Facebook accounts. I have no idea what you\u2019re supposed to do with that shit, but everyone seems to be a part …<\/p>\n

Nacho Online<\/span> Read More »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[398],"class_list":["post-244","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-gs-news","tag-gs-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/244","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=244"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/244\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1030,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/244\/revisions\/1030"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=244"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=244"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=244"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}