{"id":235,"date":"2008-10-08T08:15:48","date_gmt":"2008-10-08T13:15:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.greatsociety.org\/?p=235"},"modified":"2018-10-31T09:38:55","modified_gmt":"2018-10-31T13:38:55","slug":"the-boble-title-pages","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/?p=235","title":{"rendered":"The Boble: Title Pages"},"content":{"rendered":"

Right, so, I\u2019m finally getting around to posting The Boble.\u00a0 Remember when I promised that? <\/a><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Below are the \u201ctitle pages,\u201d which were last edited in 2002.\u00a0 Like the Sunday Archive<\/a> articles, I\u2019ve decided not to do any further editing to the Boble.\u00a0 Consequently, you\u2019ll be reading stuff from 97 (the last major edit of the entire Boble) to 02 (when the Old Testicle was last corrected).\u00a0 The first five books of the Old Testicle were written in 1988-1991.\u00a0 So \u201cBoble Wednesdays\u201d will be a bad experience for all of us.<\/p>\n

Good luck!
\n————————————————————————————–<\/p>\n

THE MOST HOLY BOBLE<\/p>\n

translated from the original languages with critical use of mind-altering devices by:<\/p>\n

The High Prophet Werdna
\nand
\nThe Bobologists and Bobologians
\nof
\nThe First Church of God BOB Scientist<\/p>\n

Translators’ Note:
\nThe Boble<\/em> is a work intended to bring the word of BOB into daily life and to challenge organized religion.\u00a0 The difficulty you may find when reading this work may be due to a personal problem that we are unable to address.\u00a0 Take two prozac and call us when you wake up.\u00a0 Other translation problems may stem directly from the inability to comprehend the dead language with which portions of this Boble were originally written.\u00a0 We, at the First Church, only know three foreign phrases: ‘Where is the bathroom?’ in Cantonese; ‘Surrender your tank!’ in Russian; and ‘Unidentified plane, you are in a no-fly zone!’ in Arabic.\u00a0 Therefore, when approached with the ancient languages of the Bobological scrolls, we were in a quandary.\u00a0 In order to meet our deadline, we fudged a little bit on the content and created many of the episodes contained herein based on the psychic impressions received by Brenda at The Psychic Connection \u2122.\u00a0 Then we smacked her around when she threatened to charge us extra.\u00a0 Well, that\u2019s what we said we would do before she chased us away with an iron pipe.<\/p>\n

* * * *<\/p>\n

The Boble is a work based on fact.\u00a0 However, the incidents, characters, and circumstances have all been changed to protect the innocent.<\/p>\n

Copyright (c) 1993, 1998, und eins mehr in Y2K<\/p>\n

All rights reserved.\u00a0 No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without the permission of the author.\u00a0 Failure to honour this request will earn you great disfavor when the revolution comes.<\/p>\n

No animals were harmed during the editing of this Boble.<\/p>\n

Published by Purple Publications U.S.
\nContact: janus_808@hotmail.com<\/p>\n

Purple Publications Copyright (c) 1991
\nPrinted in the Vile United States of\u00a0 Love<\/p>\n

Preface<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

From \u201cArchaeological Adventures with Doctor Aquarius: Nazi Sympathiser\u201d printed in Girl\u2019s Hopscotch Quarterly<\/em><\/p>\n

In 1988, a holy artifact was uncovered near the Red Sea by Doctor Herman \u2018The Hedgehog\u2019 Aquarius Ph.D. (a roving archaeologist\/gynaecologist).\u00a0 Doctor Aquarius was a renowned expert on the occult and was hired by Argentina-based Nazi\u2019s to locate the fabled Lazy Susan that was present during Christ\u2019s alleged \u2018Last Supper\u2019.\u00a0 Doctor Aquarius\u2019 search for the Lazy Susan led him into tombs that had been untouched for millennia.\u00a0 It was there that he found evidence that would, ultimately, tear the Christian world apart.\u00a0 He recovered an artifact that, along with subsequent discoveries, shed light on a religion that had led to the creation of Christianity.<\/p>\n

Rusty and decayed, the artifact was pieced together by French people claiming to be scientists who pieced things together.\u00a0 It turned out to be a large paperclip, and Doctor Aquarius believed that it was used to hold stone tablets togeth\u00ader.\u00a0 Through various incomprehensible dating techniques, the paperclip was traced back to 2000 BC. Doctor Aquarius had discovered one of the three Lost Paperclips of BOB, hidden in a tomb for nearly four thousand years.\u00a0 They had been used to fasten the tablets upon which were inscribed the Seventeen and a Half Commandments – the foundation for the Bobological world.<\/p>\n

Scientists swarmed over the site that Doctor Aquarius had found.\u00a0 They worked night and day excavating the tomb and discovered a number of scrolls.\u00a0 Translated, the scrolls told a tale similar to the Christian Bible.\u00a0 We learned of a God whose name was BOB.\u00a0 A God that was both studly and cool.\u00a0 Related documents told us of the rise of Bobism – put down by Christian monks wielding poultry (at least, that’s what it looked like in the pictographs).\u00a0 We learned of the Hebo tribe and Bob Jr. – the son of BOB – as well as the Three Holy Paperclips, the purple-reflective sunglasses, the green boots of Bobette, and hundreds of other fun facts.\u00a0 The scientists also found a bag of amusing party favours that were all quickly broken.<\/p>\n

Sadly, Doctor Aquarius was killed in a flashfire while crawling down his chimney.\u00a0 But, in his memory, all copies of the Boble have been dedicated to him: WE DEDICATE THIS TO DR HEDGEHOG AQUARIUS…AND…YEAH<\/p>\n

Jewish automobiles have, sadly, destroyed the \u2018Kilroy-wuz-here\u2019 drawings on the tomb where these precious documents were discovered.\u00a0 We ask you to boycott anything Jewish with four wheels.\u00a0 Thank you.<\/p>\n

Before we begin, it is necessary to mention those who have assisted in the creation of this Boble.\u00a0 The names that follow are in no particular order of importance:<\/p>\n

Werdna (Editor; Prophet; Disciple of BOB)
\nMinister-To-The-Heathen-Lands Zosish (Founder – Englacian Church; loyal disciple)
\nSarah (The New Consort)
\nDoctor Director Sir Lu Fun Tang, MCSE (Doctor of Bobology, Odd Fellow, SPD, Bevan Commandant Second Class Sausage Retrieval Unit)
\nPropaganda Minister Nodge (Editor: \u201cThe Goebbels Of The Future\u201d)
\nNasoj (First Archbishop of Cranberries; claims to have never tucked his penis between his legs and pretended to be a woman)
\nHapless the Televangelist
\nPope Flip IV The Secretor
\nThe Mechanic\/Avatar of BOB
\nThe Mysteriously Reclusive Archbishop Stokes (Englacian Church)
\nAll clergy of BOB
\nThe Krylon Underground Magazine
\nJohn’s bug (sometimes we’re in a wind machine)
\nAnd the hierarchy of the united Churches of BOB
\nWe would also like to thank Alex because he bought the condoms.
\n^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^808^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
\nAll things are BOB.\u00a0 We must remember that BOB is all things.\u00a0 All things are BOB…<\/p>\n

Ze books of ze Book:<\/strong><\/p>\n

THE OLD TESTICLE
\nGenesis
\nExit, Stage Everywhere
\nA Bobological Study of The New Promised Land
\nThe Two of Sam
\nVarious Kings and Other Absolute Monarchs
\nChronicles of Scary Things in Your Future
\nThe Book of Jobless
\nThe Book of Palms Pronounced Salms (What Idiot Though of A Silent `P’?)
\nSubliminal Messages On The Cereal Box (Subliminal BOB)
\nLack of Wisdom
\nAssorted Prophets<\/p>\n

THE NEW TESTICLE
\nThe Bobsel According to Matdude
\nThe Bobsel According To Kram
\nThe Bobsel According to Luke Duke
\nThe Bobsel According to Nohj
\nThe Exploits
\nThe Letters of Pole
\nThe Chain Letter From Timothy
\nLetter of Pain to The Japanese Prophets of Economy
\nThe Letter From Nohj to Sir Carnel
\nThe Trip<\/p>\n

Epilogue By High prophet Werdna
\nPropaganda Page:\u00a0 Coming Soon From BOB!<\/p>\n

A Guide To The Various Churches of BOB:<\/strong><\/p>\n

First Church of God BOB Scientist (1988-present)
\nLeaders of Church:
\nCo-Popes Mark and Nathan (1989-1991)
\nPope Flip IV (1991-1992; reinstated 1995)
\nPope Jones (1992)
\nInterregnum (1993-1995)<\/p>\n

Englacian (Puritanical) Church of England.\u00a0 (1991-present)
\nLeaders of Church:
\nCardinal Zosish (1991)
\nArchbishop Stokes (1991-present)<\/p>\n

First Reform Church.\u00a0 (1989-Dissolved in 1990) Leaders of Church:
\nAlternate Popes Alex and Matt (1989-1990)<\/p>\n

Second Reform Church.\u00a0 (1991-1992)
\nCommonly referred to as `The Church of Morton Of The Bad Suits’<\/p>\n

Previous Editions of The Boble<\/strong>
\nThe Original Manuscripts: 1988
\nThe Family Fun Boble: 1989
\nThe Boble!\u00a0 In Anarchistic Red: 1990
\nThe Boble!\u00a0 In Intellectual Black: 1990
\nThe Most Holy Boble (First Edition): 1991
\nThe Most Holy Boble (Second Edition): 1993
\nThe Most Holy Boble with New Testicle (First Revised Edition): 1993
\nThe Most Holy Boble (Second Revised Edition): 1997
\nThe Most Holy Boble (Modern Era Comet Catastrophe Edition): 1998
\nModern Era Comet Catastrophe: Special Y2K Edition: 2000<\/p>\n

The First Quote Is:
\n\u201cBecause BOB is Hooked on Phonics!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Right, so, I\u2019m finally getting around to posting The Boble.\u00a0 Remember when I promised that?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[55],"tags":[115,150],"class_list":["post-235","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-boblehub-20","tag-boble","tag-old-testicle"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/235","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=235"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/235\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1037,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/235\/revisions\/1037"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=235"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=235"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=235"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}