{"id":181,"date":"2008-11-23T09:56:05","date_gmt":"2008-11-23T14:56:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.greatsociety.org\/?p=181"},"modified":"2018-10-31T09:21:43","modified_gmt":"2018-10-31T13:21:43","slug":"sunday-archive-xxi-american-braves-part-one-of-four","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/?p=181","title":{"rendered":"Sunday Archive XXI: American Braves, Part One of Four"},"content":{"rendered":"

American Braves<\/span> (AKA: “The Amish Down Under”), in four parts.\u00a0 This is from October 31st, 2000, so it predates my online presence (Dirtyfreaks.com, the precursor for GS, started up in April of 2001).<\/p>\n


\nI\u2019d been working for years on many projects \u2013 some on my own, and some with friends.\u00a0 One such project was the “American Highway” project, where I pictured myself getting paid oodles of money to drive around the country and write about weird shit.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got lots of “American Highway” outtakes, and will go ahead and put as many as I can tolerate here in the Sunday Archive.<\/p>\n

American Braves<\/span> was a trip I took with my Aussie and Spanish friends.\u00a0 The general plan was to head up to Lancaster, PA, and then just sort of wander aimlessly for a weekend.\u00a0 The foreign folk love the ridiculous Amish.<\/p>\n

(If you\u2019re actually paying attention to the shit I\u2019m posting, you might see some of \u201cJames\u201d in Liam.\u00a0 Liam, along with my Sri Lankan friend, is a definite influence for the character that would eventually emerge on dirtyfreaks.com.)<\/p>\n

—————-<\/p>\n

Indian Steps<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThis is America,\u201d my Australian friend, Liam, muttered.<\/p>\n

We had pulled over at a gas station in the suburbs of Baltimore, the car facing a Target superstore and a chain of fast food restaurants.\u00a0 Behind us, Interstate 83 hummed with the gentle breath of Saturday traffic.\u00a0 We had just set out for a tour of Lancaster, Pennsylvania \u2013 the Dutch Country. Two days and one night among the Amish.\u00a0 Along with the Australian, our Amish raiding party consisted of Donald and Teresa, archconservatives from Spain.\u00a0 I was the token American in our group, tagging along because I had a sweet tooth for forgotten Americana.\u00a0 I was also in possession of the cynical attitude that nothing would be pure.\u00a0 The Amish, their religion and the big open countryside were there for the benefit of the tourist — the modern American Brave.<\/p>\n

\u201cEverything has to be so large, so overstated.\u201d Liam muttered,\u00a0 \u201cWhat do you get out of that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cProsperity!\u201d I barked, turning towards the sun and taking a deep breath.\u00a0 \u201cMy god, Liam.\u00a0 Fortune and glory!\u00a0 This is the course of empire!\u201d<\/p>\n

Liam squinted at me until the tank was full.\u00a0 Without taking his eyes off of me he replaced the nozzle, tore off his receipt and walked to the driver\u2019s side of the car.<\/p>\n

The route was laid out several days before:\u00a0 I-83 north to PA 74, a two-lane highway that would take us past the Indian Steps Museum.\u00a0 Whenever I travel the States, I do my best to visit at least one Indian monument.\u00a0 The Indian Steps Museum looked to be well out of the way so I was insistent that we locate and catalog the site before it faded away forever.<\/p>\n

The Indian Steps, themselves, are crudely cut footholds in the granite alongside what is now the Susquehanna River.\u00a0 The fishermen who made these cuts and gave the river their name came from the Susquehannock tribe, an Iroquois tribe that migrated to the area sometime between 1300 and 1500 AD.\u00a0 When they arrived, the Susquehannocks discovered an unrelated tribe living in the area.\u00a0 Their first act was to brutally annihilate this foreign tribe and this they did so successfully that all traces of that early tribe are now lost.<\/p>\n

By the late 1600\u2019s, the Susquehannocks ruled large tracts of Pennsylvania and Maryland.\u00a0 When white settlers discovered that the Indians were expert and surprisingly well-armed warriors, our only recourse was to weaken their tribe with alcohol and Christianity.\u00a0 Our attempts were successful, which lead to the unfortunate subjugation of the Susquehannocks by their cousins, the tribes united under the Iroquois Confederacy.\u00a0 Another powerful Appalachian tribe \u2013 the Seneca \u2013 eventually absorbed the survivors.\u00a0 They, in turn, were all sent away to reservations.\u00a0 The Museum doesn\u2019t address the ultimate fate of the Seneca but I\u2019m sure it was horrible \u2013 they\u2019re probably out at Fort Stinking Desert, Nevada.<\/p>\n

The Indian Steps Museum presents the traveler with a comprehensive and fascinating collection of Indian weaponry (that is, sharp rocks) and a 375-year old Holly tree.\u00a0 The Holly tree is hard to find and, to my knowledge, doesn\u2019t exist.\u00a0 When I asked about it, the lady at the counter gave me a look reserved for killer hornet nests.<\/p>\n

The museum is far enough off the map to allow for an adequately eccentric display.\u00a0 It is housed in a three-story, 18th century stone house.\u00a0 The suggested donation is one dollar and there\u2019s a small box for this donation beside the guest book.\u00a0 The first floor consists of a small gift shop featuring the ever-popular rubber tomahawks and, a new one to me,\u00a0 \u201cdeer hunting boomerangs\u201d.\u00a0 Just off of the gift shop is the Nazi Room.\u00a0 This is well worth the dollar.\u00a0 My traveling companions and I assumed the room was used for seminars or video presentations of some sort.\u00a0 A fancy TV and VCR sat on wheels at one end of a huge, granite table.\u00a0 The oval-shaped table, surrounded by large stone chairs, summoned images of King Arthur and questing knights.\u00a0 There\u2019s a powerful feeling that you\u2019ve crossed some sort of time portal when you enter the room.\u00a0 Suddenly, this North American mission house becomes a chamber in a medieval castle.\u00a0 The windows are hand-painted stained glass, drawings and tapestries adorn the walls.\u00a0\u00a0 Various photos, looking to be about 70 years old, portray rugged mountaineer men standing in front of the Indian Steps.\u00a0 On the corners of these pictures are darkly emblazoned swastikas.\u00a0 Above the entryway, a large swastika is painted on the wall.\u00a0 Beside it is painted the dictionary definition of a swastika, sheepishly explaining that it really means \u201cgood luck\u201d.\u00a0 That\u2019s all, nothing more.\u00a0 Please make sure your papers are in order before leaving the room.<\/p>\n

True enough, though, the swastika was a symbol commonly used by the Iroquois.\u00a0 You can find the swastika around the world, representing luck or fortune to countless peoples and religions.\u00a0 In Germany, the symbol comes from ancient Norse mythology.\u00a0 All this is well and good but, the fact remains, the people in the 1930\u2019s photographs at the museum are all white and Germanic.\u00a0 I can just see them sitting around that stone table, dressed in black, working out the final resting place of the Holy Grail.<\/p>\n

The actual site of the Indian Steps is hard to get to and defended by an entrenched team of Waffen-SS.\u00a0 Unless one wants to play the Lyme disease game, the best thing is to stick to the museum.\u00a0 The old house features two floors worth of pottery shards and arrowheads.\u00a0 One room addresses the onset of European settlers.\u00a0 Strangely, the paintings and drawings depict the first European settlers in the area as leering Conquistadors instead of the famous John Smith (the first white man to make contact in this area) and, later, settlers under British Lord Calvert\u2019s flag.<\/p>\n

——————–
\nTo get to the Museum, follow PA Route 74 get off on Route 425.\u00a0 425\u00a0 is a large horseshoe meandering through endless cornfields and new forest. Follow your heart and, eventually, the road sidles up beside the Susquehanna.\u00a0 Shortly after, you\u2019ll see a sign for the\u00a0 Indian Steps Museum.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

American Braves (AKA: “The Amish Down Under”), in four parts.\u00a0 This is from October 31st, 2000, so it predates my online presence (Dirtyfreaks.com, the precursor for GS, started up in April of 2001).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[53],"tags":[137,161],"class_list":["post-181","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sunday-archive","tag-archives","tag-travel"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/181","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=181"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/181\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1009,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/181\/revisions\/1009"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=181"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=181"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=181"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}