That\u2019s right, you can show off your catch to all your girlfriends when we pile into my 1998 Nissan that only has 200,000 miles! It takes a little bit to get it started, but I can usually get it going after ten minutes. Unless it\u2019s a cold day, then we\u2019ll have to go get a Zipcar. The only one that\u2019s ever available near me is the windowless panel van, but that\u2019s okay. You can tell your girlfriends that it\u2019s the Zipcar Love Machine.<\/p>\n
Shopping<\/strong><\/p>\n Do you like to shop? Then I\u2019m the man for you! Assuming we get the Nissan started, I do all my shopping three hours away at the Wal-Mart in Paw-Paw, WV where we can get the best deals on pickles and canned tuna!<\/p>\n Dine in Style<\/strong><\/p>\n You got it, ladies \u2013 Nacho Sasha is your chef! Sit down at the table and enjoy the finest cuisine \u2013 buttered noodles and Celeste pizza. Your queenly chalice shall overflow with the finest Natty Bo! By your side, my giant inflatable dinosaur will be standing by as your own personal butler.<\/p>\n Wear the Finest Clothes<\/strong><\/p>\n I\u2019ve got jeans from when I was in high school in the back of my closet along with a number of t-shirts. When we\u2019re out on the town, you\u2019ll be the star of the parade!<\/p>\n Education<\/strong><\/p>\n You want an educated man, ladies! I hold a Bachelors in Modern European History (Nazis!) and Political Science. You\u2019ll spend hours enthralled by the finest discourse on topics including West Germany\u2019s government, amusing articles from Der Sturmer<\/em>, and the revitalization of Britain\u2019s canals.<\/p>\n But it\u2019s not just book smarts for you. Thanks to the quality education I received at a small school in the mountains of West Virginia, I know how to build and operate a still, run a bootlegging operation that always breaks even, and the right way to clean and prepare ramps. Give me a flat roof and a garden hose and I can grow enough low-grade marijuana to make a legion of 12 year old suburban stoners feel like pigs in chardonnay.<\/p>\n Emotional Awkwardness<\/strong><\/p>\n Hang on tight ladies, because I\u2019m riddled with sexual hangups and I come from a family that\u2019s about as functional as, say\u2026the writing staff of Der Sturmer<\/em>. It\u2019s a family where \u201cWatch out for the blacks\u201d really means \u201cI love you.\u201d All you have to do is close your eyes and tap your heels together and\u2026oh my god\u2026<\/p>\n Ambitious Worker<\/strong><\/p>\n I\u2019m a man who works hard for what he wants \u2013 to become a shut-in at my professor\u2019s guesthouse, or live next to my friends in New Orleans and maintain a job as a night watchman at a morgue. Stick with me and you\u2019ll ride to the top of the social ladder and attend Christmas parties at a morgue, or be shaking it hillbilly style on the Eastern Shore.<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.greatsociety.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/dinobra.jpg\" "\\"dinobra\\"")
<\/a><\/p>\nMore about Nacho:<\/h3>\n
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