Here\u2019s my current dream, if my life was my own (no bills, no debt, money in the bank to emigrate, etc\u2026):<\/p>\n
\nI\u2019d move to Brampton in the UK.\u00a0 There are several towns with that name, I think.\u00a0 The one I fell in love with is in Cumbria, right along Hadrian\u2019s Wall and on the rail and bus line between Newcastle and Carlisle. It\u2019s a mile walk through lovely forest from the train station, though the bus is more convenient\u2026and far less romantic.<\/p>\n
Just on the edge of town is an old hill fort, which is where you start the two mile walking tour past the 12th century Lanercost Priory, along road and creek, through forest and farmland, up to Hadrian\u2019s Wall, where another half mile or so will take you to the Birdoswald Roman outpost.\u00a0 That old hill fort is hemmed in by houses and a nice little spread of rustic looking townhomes.\u00a0 I\u2019d like to live modestly in one of those little townhouses.\u00a0 A butcher\u2019s and Co-Op are about a block away, as are two of the more enjoyable pubs \u2013 the Howard Arms and the White Lion.\u00a0 Those two spots ring the city center, where the ever helpful TIC sits with their somewhat unfriendly banker\u2019s hours (if you\u2019re thinking about a day hike and did not plan ahead).<\/p>\n
I\u2019d start each day early.\u00a0 5am, or thereabouts, and hike at least as far as Lanercost.\u00a0 The Priory is an incredible building<\/a>, and you can almost spend a day just touring the graveyard.\u00a0 The homemade orange rhubarb preserves on sale for cheap in the entrance hall are to die for, as well.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been to Brampton four times since 1995, and that walk never changes.\u00a0 The town has grown slightly, but it still seems pretty static.\u00a0 The Priory calls to me, though.\u00a0 Almost every day, I think about that walk, and visiting Lanercost.<\/p>\n On good days, I\u2019ll continue on to the Wall, then back again.\u00a0 Healthy brunch, then get to work writing (or publishing, or selling weapons to warlords in Africa\u2026whatever pays the bills).\u00a0 I would only work till 6pm, then I\u2019d head to the pub for dinner and drinks, then back home to read or watch horrible sci-fi, which is what I do now.\u00a0 Except it\u2019s the wilds of Silver Spring outside of my window, with car alarms and people screaming on their cell phones and potty dog<\/a> and ice cream trucks.\u00a0 And I have to face that commute the next day.\u00a0 Always the commute\u2026<\/p>\n Ideally, except for ordering drinks at the pub, I could spend most days in Brampton not speaking to anyone.\u00a0 Just quietly shuffling through my day, away from the hustle of the city.\u00a0 A nice, simple routine.\u00a0 Walking alone in the woods, working quietly in a small townhouse, eating alone at an isolated corner table.\u00a0 The Brits have the lovely habit of ordering at the bar, so eating out at pubs is always a wonderful experience.\u00a0 No wait staff to constantly spin by and ask how you\u2019re doing, only to vanish when you need something.\u00a0 No waiting for drinks or refills \u2013 just get up and order for yourself.<\/p>\n There\u2019s a bar in my old college town \u2013 the Jabberwock \u2013 that doesn\u2019t suffer wait staff.\u00a0 You can sit in the window seats all day and sullenly drink, and it\u2019s up to you to walk back up to the bar for another.\u00a0 Beautiful.\u00a0 The way a bar should be.<\/p>\n Try to find that in the DC area.\u00a0 Just simpering, underpaid wait staff who hate you.\u00a0 The only escape is to actually sit at the bar, but then we have a whole different breed of bartender in the US.\u00a0 It\u2019s up to the customer to amuse them, if they\u2019re the sociable sort.\u00a0 If not, then they\u2019re inattentive, passive-aggressive, and can\u2019t make a drink.\u00a0 I watch for the sociable ones, because they load you up with booze.\u00a0 Small price to pay having to talk to them, which does dampen the experience.\u00a0 But if I\u2019m paying six bucks for a drink, it had better knock my socks off.\u00a0 I\u2019m not battling crowds and commuters and faggots in the seat next to me just to pay six bucks for a glass of whiskey sour mix.<\/p>\n This is why I drink at home.\u00a0 I steal booze from my weekend job, so it\u2019s free, it\u2019s at the right strength, and I can take off my trousers and stand on the porch and stare people down.\u00a0 Staring people down while fully clothed doesn\u2019t work for me\u2026but, man, put me up there in a filthy, unbuttoned house shirt and boxers with a pint glass of gin and from four storeys up and, yes, I am the King of Silver Spring.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Here\u2019s my current dream, if my life was my own (no bills, no debt, money in the bank to emigrate, 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