<\/p>\n
A lack of understanding, sir!<\/strong><\/p>\n Customer: I want to renew my membership, but I will not pay the extra assessment.<\/p>\n Me: Okay, that’s no problem. We can remove that assessment.<\/p>\n Cust: Sir?<\/p>\n Me: Yes?<\/p>\n Cust: I want to renew my membership, but I will not pay the extra assessment.<\/p>\n Me: …okay. That’s no problem.<\/p>\n Cust: I don’t understand you.<\/p>\n Me: You do not have to pay the assessment.<\/p>\n Cust: I don’t know what you’re saying. Just take the assessment off.<\/p>\n Me: Okay. I. Will.<\/p>\n (we go through the renewal process, credit card, etc)<\/p>\n Me: Okay, and how does your name appear on the credit card?<\/p>\n Cust: Sir?<\/p>\n Me: How does your name appear on the card?<\/p>\n Cust: I don’t understand what you’re saying.<\/p>\n Me: I need to know how your name is written on that credit card.<\/p>\n Cust: I have no idea what you’re saying. Please charge my card now, thank you. (He hangs up)<\/p>\n No sense of humor (call received at 4pm)<\/strong><\/p>\n Me: Service Center, How may I help you?<\/p>\n Cust: So you’re closed!<\/p>\n Me: I’m sorry?<\/p>\n Cust: Does this mean you’re closed?<\/p>\n Me: Does…what?<\/p>\n Cust: “Service center.” So you’re service. You’re telling me that you’re closed.<\/p>\n Me: No\u2026 We\u2019re not.<\/p>\n Cust: What is “service” anyway? Who is “service”? Is it —<\/p>\n Me: Sir, how can I help you?<\/p>\n Cust: Oh, no sense of humor at the “service” center that’s closed!<\/p>\n Me: I’m here for a few more hours, sir. Now, please, how can I help you?<\/p>\n Cust: You can\u2019t! You\u2019re closed! (hangs up)<\/p>\n In a similar vein\u2026 (caller selected \u201corder a book\u201d on the phone tree)<\/strong><\/p>\n Me: Hello, this is the book order department, how may I help you?<\/p>\n Cust: What is the \u2018book order department\u2019?<\/p>\n Me: I’m sorry?<\/p>\n Cust: I need you to tell me what \u2018the book order department\u2019 is.<\/p>\n Me: It’s the option you selected. The book order department.<\/p>\n Cust: (in a rush) I’m from Rhode Island and I have an abusive husband and I want to report a doctor who abused me and….<\/p>\n Me: Stop. This is the book order line.<\/p>\n Cust: FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!<\/p>\n (I terminated the call)<\/p>\n Conversion Attempts<\/strong><\/p>\n Cust: (shouting as soon as I start to speak) Are you a Christian?<\/p>\n Me: No.<\/p>\n Cust: YOU WILL BURN IN ETERNAL HELL!<\/p>\n Me: Will I?<\/p>\n Cust: It is my duty, as an evangelist, to tell you that.<\/p>\n Me: Okay.<\/p>\n Cust: Are you willing to become a Christian?<\/p>\n Me: No way.<\/p>\n Cust: Why not?<\/p>\n Me: Because of you, right now.<\/p>\n Cust: You fear me because I am with God!<\/p>\n Me: I do fear you, yes.<\/p>\n Cust: You must accept Jesus.<\/p>\n Me: Well…not really.<\/p>\n Cust: Then you will burn for all eternity.<\/p>\n Me: Well, you know…better to rule in hell, right?<\/p>\n Cust: (pause) What’s your name?<\/p>\n Me: Steve.<\/p>\n Cust: Spell that.<\/p>\n Me: (spells it)<\/p>\n Cust: And your last name?<\/p>\n Me: Clomholder-Smyth.<\/p>\n Cust: Spell that.<\/p>\n Me: (spells it)<\/p>\n Cust: I will pray for you every night, Steve Clomholder-Smyth. (hangs up)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[45,13],"tags":[265,263,400],"class_list":["post-1458","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-crazy-customers","category-wage-slave","tag-crazy-customers-2","tag-customer-service","tag-wage-slave"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1458","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1458"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1458\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1490,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1458\/revisions\/1490"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1458"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1458"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1458"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}