{"id":144,"date":"2008-11-02T09:12:03","date_gmt":"2008-11-02T14:12:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.greatsociety.org\/?p=144"},"modified":"2018-10-31T09:29:37","modified_gmt":"2018-10-31T13:29:37","slug":"sunday-archive-xviii-korean-james-outtake","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/?p=144","title":{"rendered":"Sunday Archive XVIII: Korean (James outtake)"},"content":{"rendered":"

From February of 2007, this is a complete article that I never got around to posting for some reason.\u00a0 Again, though this is more coherent than the others, this is a “James” article and was written with the intent of providing scenes and dialog for more thought-out James articles.\u00a0 I guess I’m always reaching to copy Tiger’s Path<\/a>.<\/p>\n

The title of the email is “Korean.”
\n<\/p>\n

\u201cKorean, eh?\u201d<\/p>\n

James nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow was it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve gone Asian.\u00a0 You know.\u201d<\/p>\n

I shrugged.\u00a0 \u201cJapanese-American.\u00a0 That\u2019s all.\u00a0 She looked Japanese but didn\u2019t know shit about Japan.\u00a0 All corn dogs and funnel cakes back to the 1880\u2019s.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut Asian.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

James finished his drink, waved his glass towards the bartender.\u00a0 \u201cYella\u2019s yella.\u201d\u00a0 He said.\u00a0 \u201cFunnel cakes or not.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt kind of loses the charm when the package is Japanese but the girl is all \u2018Yuck, yuck, old Clete brought his car to the Conoco station last night, by-golly.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s perfect, though!\u00a0 You get all the yella but the mind is totally corrupted by America.\u00a0 You can dress her up in those fancy Jap clothes and still run around stealing traffic cones.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut your girl is actually Korean.\u00a0 It\u2019s a step up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNonsense.\u00a0 Mine\u2019s all Asian and stuff.\u00a0 If I stole a traffic cone while on a date with her she\u2019d fall on her sword out of shame or something.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think most of your girlfriend\u2019s want to do that, James \u2013 \u201c<\/p>\n

\u201cOh-ho!\u00a0 Funny you!\u201d<\/p>\n

I watched as the bartender put a new drink in front of James.\u00a0 I had meant to watch.\u00a0 James called it the \u2018regular special,\u2019 and it looked like tar.\u00a0 He and the bartender kept sharing secret glances, Fight Club<\/em> style, and the drinks seemed to appear from some secret place.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat I don\u2019t get, though,\u201d James said after recovering from his first gulp.<\/p>\n

I pointed at the glass.\u00a0 \u201cIs that something homemade?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs why she has such well manicured hands.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHuh?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cManicured hands.\u00a0 Is that a joke?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt might be something homemade.\u201d He said mysteriously, weaving drunkenly and raising the glass to the light.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t see through it.\u00a0 I glanced at the bartender and he put his finger to his lips.<\/p>\n

\u201cFuck, James.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYep.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cManicured hands.\u00a0 Very funny.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cKorean.\u00a0 Manicured hands.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRight\u2026?\u00a0 Oh!\u00a0 Yes, okay.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo I need a girl.\u201d\u00a0 I sipped my warming beer.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, wah.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNah, really.\u00a0 It\u2019s starting to feel like a pressure or spout\u2026bursting.\u201d<\/p>\n

James leaned towards me.\u00a0 \u201cSorry, try that again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI just need a girl.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThinking relationship?\u00a0 Fuck?\u00a0 Anything?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, anything.\u00a0 But, yes, why not a relationship?\u00a0 Somebody soft and warm to lay next to.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPay a hooker for the whole night, once a week.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you able to do that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe whole night?\u00a0 Yes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow expensive is it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t know.\u00a0 I\u2019m not a dried up loser like you.\u201d<\/p>\n

The bartender spun by.\u00a0 \u201cBeer\u2019s warm, man.\u201d\u00a0 He said.\u00a0 Or asked, maybe.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t tell.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n

He looked at James, who nodded sagely.<\/p>\n

The bartender flashed me a smile.\u00a0 One silver tooth, another tooth missing, a beard that refused to fill in and one wandering eye.\u00a0 Then, as if summoned from the air around us, he produced a glass of the homemade tar and slid it towards me.\u00a0 \u201cFix you up, baby.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUh\u2026yeah.\u00a0 Baby.\u00a0 Right.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTake a sip, baby.\u201d\u00a0 James whispered.\u00a0 And they both watched me with unblinking, animal eyes as I put the surface of the tar to my lips, tilted my head back, let the sludge roll into my mouth.\u00a0 It felt like oysters for just a whisper of a heartbeat, then it dissolved into a soothing oil and slipped down my throat before my reflexes could kick in, let alone any clear sensation or thought.\u00a0 When it hit my stomach, I felt a wave pass through me and moved back a few inches, staring into the hideous face of the bartender.<\/p>\n

I nodded, \u201cBaby.\u201d\u00a0 I whispered.<\/p>\n

The bartender laughed.\u00a0 \u201cBaby!\u201d he said loudly, and James echoed him.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s amazing.\u201d<\/p>\n

James patted me gently on the back.\u00a0 \u201cKeep going.\u201d<\/p>\n

This time I took a large gulp, let it slide down.\u00a0 Before I knew it, half the glass was down and I was feeling a screaming tornado dancing through my blood.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is fucking amazing!\u201d I said, staring into the glass.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood stuff, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGreat stuff.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFeel good?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFeel amazing.\u00a0 Like I\u2019m powerful!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLike king of the world, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFucking yes!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou always throw up the first time.\u201d<\/p>\n

I froze, gritted my teeth.\u00a0 Then, with gales of laughter following me, I slid off the stool and careened drunkenly, slamming off of walls and tables, towards the bathroom.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

From February of 2007, this is a complete article that I never got around to posting for some reason.\u00a0 Again, though this is more coherent than the others, this is a “James” article and was written with the intent of …<\/p>\n

Sunday Archive XVIII: Korean (James outtake)<\/span> Read More »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[53],"tags":[137,179],"class_list":["post-144","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sunday-archive","tag-archives","tag-james"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/144","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=144"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/144\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1020,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/144\/revisions\/1020"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=144"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=144"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=144"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}