<\/p>\n
Funny Letters<\/strong><\/p>\n (I answer with the normal greeting.)<\/p>\n Cust:\u00a0 Hello?<\/p>\n Me:\u00a0 Hello.<\/p>\n Cust: (long silence)<\/p>\n Me: (I keep silent)<\/p>\n Cust: Yes, so, I want to know, what are the numbers after people\u2019s names?<\/p>\n Me: What?<\/p>\n Cust: The numbers!<\/p>\n Me: The numbers after people\u2019s names?<\/p>\n Cust: No!<\/p>\n Me: \u2026<\/p>\n Cust: No!<\/p>\n Me: Okay.<\/p>\n Cust: What are the letters after people\u2019s names?<\/p>\n Me: What?<\/p>\n Cust: People sometimes have letters after their names.\u00a0 What are those?<\/p>\n Me: What do you mean?<\/p>\n Cust: Anytime they have letters after their name.\u00a0 What do the letters mean?<\/p>\n Me: It\u2019s\u2026their degrees.<\/p>\n Cust: Degrees?<\/p>\n Me:\u00a0 Yeah, like, from school.<\/p>\n Cust: You get degrees when you go to school?<\/p>\n Me: Uh\u2026yes.<\/p>\n Cust: And you just pick any old letters?<\/p>\n Me: Well, they\u2019re specific to the degree.<\/p>\n Cust:\u00a0 Could you tell them to me?<\/p>\n Me:\u00a0 There are many.<\/p>\n Cust: I have time.<\/p>\n Me: I\u2019m afraid there are too many.\u00a0 You can look them up online.<\/p>\n Cust: Where?<\/p>\n Me: Online.<\/p>\n Cust: Where online?<\/p>\n Me: Google.<\/p>\n Cust: Where?<\/p>\n Me: Or the search engine of your choice.<\/p>\n Cust: Can\u2019t you just list them off?<\/p>\n Me: No.<\/p>\n Cust: Your customer service skills suck.\u00a0 (hangs up)<\/p>\n My Mind Reading Computer is in the Shop<\/strong><\/p>\n Cust:\u00a0 I don\u2019t know if I\u2019m a member or not. I\u2019m a graduate student at (edited).<\/p>\n Me: Okay, what\u2019s your name?<\/p>\n Cust: (edited)<\/p>\n Me: Okay, I don\u2019t see your name in the system.<\/p>\n Cust:\u00a0 But I\u2019m a graduate student!<\/p>\n Me: When did you apply?<\/p>\n Cust:\u00a0 Apply?<\/p>\n Me: \u2026yes\u2026<\/p>\n Cust: Aren\u2019t all students automatically members?<\/p>\n Me: No, sorry.<\/p>\n Cust: Why isn\u2019t it automatic?<\/p>\n Me: Because we need you to apply.<\/p>\n Cust: How do I apply?<\/p>\n Me: Go to (website)<\/p>\n Cust:\u00a0 (Long pause — 30 seconds).<\/p>\n Me:\u00a0 Are you there?<\/p>\n Cust:\u00a0 Yes, but it\u2019s not applying for me.<\/p>\n Me:\u00a0 You need to apply.\u00a0 Click on \u201cstudent affiliate.\u201d<\/p>\n Cust:\u00a0 (another long pause)<\/p>\n Me:\u00a0 So\u2026you found the application form?<\/p>\n Cust:\u00a0 It\u2019s not automated?<\/p>\n Me:\u00a0 It is, yes.\u00a0 It\u2019s all online.<\/p>\n Cust:\u00a0 But it\u2019s not doing anything.<\/p>\n Me:\u00a0 You\u2026need to fill it out\u2026<\/p>\n Cust:\u00a0 I don\u2019t see the link.<\/p>\n Me:\u00a0 It\u2019s in the box on the right.<\/p>\n Cust: I don\u2019t see it.<\/p>\n (So I have him read the entire page to me until, finally, he works his way down the left side, up the middle, then to the right side and says \u201cApplication form\u201d and then continues reading.)<\/p>\n Me: Wait!\u00a0 Wait!\u00a0 There it is. You just read it.<\/p>\n Cust:\u00a0 When?<\/p>\n Me: Just then \u2013 application form.\u00a0 Click on that.<\/p>\n Cust:\u00a0 Okay.\u00a0 It\u2019s not filling out the fields though.<\/p>\n Me:\u00a0 What?<\/p>\n Cust:\u00a0 I\u2019m there and everything\u2019s blank.\u00a0 It\u2019s not filling out.<\/p>\n Me:\u00a0 You need to fill it out yourself.<\/p>\n Cust:\u00a0 Okay\u2026thanks\u2026 (hangs up)<\/p>\n His Gal Friday<\/strong><\/p>\n Cust: I\u2019m having problems logging into the site.<\/p>\n Me: Okay, I’ll be glad to help you.\u00a0 Do you have your username and password?<\/p>\n Cust: No…<\/p>\n Me:\u00a0 Okay, I’ll give that information to you.<\/p>\n Cust: Oh, just a minute, I don’t do this computer stuff.\u00a0 Let me call my secretary… And, now, email poetry:<\/strong><\/p>\n Hello,
\n(he puts the phone down and screams)\u00a0 COME HERE!!!!!!<\/p>\n
\nI have decided not to renew my membership. (I have, also, cut out cable TV.)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[45,13],"tags":[265,263,400],"class_list":["post-1435","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-crazy-customers","category-wage-slave","tag-crazy-customers-2","tag-customer-service","tag-wage-slave"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1435","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1435"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1435\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1472,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1435\/revisions\/1472"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1435"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1435"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1435"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}