Should I be ashamed of my love for Juice Newton?\u00a0 Because whenever “Queen of Hearts” comes on the radio, I start rocking out all white-boy style while everybody else \u2013 and I mean, even the ubiquitous barroom 80\u2019s guy \u2013 sighs deeply and rolls their eyes.<\/p>\n
During my commute this morning, I got her cover of “Angel of the Morning”<\/a> stuck in my head.<\/p>\n Look at that hair!\u00a0 She\u2019s beautiful in that witchy MILF next door way.\u00a0 Like she\u2019s out there gardening and you\u2019re just 15 and watching her from your bedroom window and masturbating in a sock.<\/p>\n And how can anyone bad mouth “Queen of Hearts?”<\/a><\/p>\n It\u2019s the 80\u2019s answer to Gram Parsons, really.\u00a0 Except\u2026there might be a talent gap.\u00a0 But there were lots of gaps in the 80\u2019s.\u00a0 What\u2019s important about “Queen of Hearts” is that Juice gets kitted up in fetish gear. Okay, I take back the Gram Parsons comment.\u00a0 It\u2019s the Emmylou Harris connection that brings him to mind.<\/p>\n So\u2026fetish gear.\u00a0 I should qualify that.\u00a0 I\u2019m not talking Bananarama style fetish gear, so don\u2019t go taking off your pants and clicking on the link.\u00a0 I consider old west clothes to be fetish gear.\u00a0 Is that bad?\u00a0 Especially when she dresses like a cowboy. She\u2019s really sexy when she\u2019s behind bars.\u00a0 But most women are.<\/p>\n