{"id":102,"date":"2008-06-04T09:36:48","date_gmt":"2008-06-04T14:36:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.greatsociety.org\/?p=102"},"modified":"2018-10-31T12:49:51","modified_gmt":"2018-10-31T16:49:51","slug":"travel-bug","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/?p=102","title":{"rendered":"Travel Bug"},"content":{"rendered":"

I hate this travel bug. Every morning I get off at Union Station in downtown DC and I wonder why I\u2019m going to work. <\/span>Why not just take off and go? Of course, all the departing trains are going to boring places. <\/span>New York<\/st1>, Pennsylvania<\/st1> somewhere, New Jersey<\/st1>, <\/st1>Chicago<\/st1>\u2026<\/p>\n

I keep looking for the train that\u2019s going somewhere insane \u2013 nonstop to Black Rock, share a cabin with Spencer Tracy!<\/p>\n


\nI\u2019ve always loved trains, but it\u2019s hard to indulge in them when you\u2019re an American. <\/span>Even if I do go somewhere insane, I\u2019ll have to pay a crazy Indian to drive me to the airport so I can rent a car or something. <\/span>\n<\/p>\n

Or say I stay on the beaten path and go visit my friends in New Orleans<\/st1>, because, well, I always want to visit my friends in <\/st1>New Orleans<\/st1>. <\/span>Okay, it\u2019s $125 for a coach seat\u2026but that won\u2019t do. <\/span>Might as well spring for the $325 cabin. <\/span>Why? <\/span>Because it\u2019s a goddamned 26 hour trip. <\/span>That\u2019s insane. <\/span>I can make that trip on backroads in 16 hours. <\/span>And even at four bucks a gallon, it would just cost me about $240.<\/p>\n

But I wouldn\u2019t be able to drink for 26 hours while my train sits on a siding and I watch a five mile long freight train pass us at 3mph.<\/p>\n

So instead of looking at trains, I get to Union Station and think about getting right back on the Metro and going to the airport, then taking the first available international flight to\u2026anywhere. <\/span>These are serious thoughts, too. <\/span>I sometimes stop and stand there like an idiot and become consumed by an internal fight: <\/span>Keep walking to work or go to the airport. <\/span><\/p>\n

This travel bug peaks in the spring and summer. <\/span>These glorious mornings in the city which serve only to remind me of glorious mornings in all the foreign cities I\u2019ve been to \u2013 London<\/st1>, Edinburgh<\/st1>, Madrid<\/st1>, Seville<\/st1>, Prague<\/st1>, Vienna<\/st1>, <\/st1>Brasov<\/st1>, etc. <\/span>I\u2019ve always loved mornings, even though I\u2019m not a morning person. <\/span>This is why I wake up at 5:30am for no good reason. <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not even happy in the mornings\u2026mainly because, 90% of the time, I have less than two hours to get myself into some semblance of decency and then fight my way through the shuffling, moron, commuting masses. <\/span>My ideal morning is sitting on the balcony with a good cup of coffee. <\/span>Nowhere to go, nothing to do for the day. <\/span>That wonderful window of time where everything is just right.<\/p>\n

I frequently think about liquidating everything \u2013 just ending my life as I know it, turning everything into cash, and then vanishing. <\/span>Travel until the cash runs out, and then start taking odd jobs and working myself around the world. <\/span>I can find little reason to stay where I am.<\/p>\n

But I\u2019m not that crazy, because now\u2019s not the time to fly off the handle. <\/span>My debt is high, and I\u2019ve built up some responsibilities\u2026 Two things that will be resolved as 2008 turns into 2009. <\/span>And I\u2019ve decided to start dismantling my life in anticipation of summer 2009, when I\u2019ll return to my six weeks a year abroad. <\/span>A luxury that keeps me at my current day job. <\/span>No other job would tolerate that sort of insanity. <\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s the perfect marriage \u2013 stay in the rut that I so want to escape in exchange for a paycheck, and the ability to take one or two months off a year.<\/p>\n

I see it now, the older I get. <\/span>I see the mistake \u2013 all I\u2019ve ever wanted was to travel. <\/span>I should just be doing that. <\/span>I think of the money lost on my supposed dream project of publishing books (something I\u2019ve aspired towards since high school), and I do regret it. <\/span>It\u2019s cost me my savings and the meager inheritance I got from my two worthless parents. <\/span>No matter the accomplishments, all I think about is how the money didn\u2019t come back\u2026 And the money is what\u2019s needed to travel. <\/span>I move now into my second summer without serious travel and, despite spending last Christmas in <\/st1>London<\/st1>, I feel like I\u2019m somehow betraying myself.<\/p>\n

In an attempt to reclaim my soul, I\u2019ve gone overboard in planning monthly outings. <\/span>These are sandwiched between my regular day job, my weekend job, and my company. <\/span>All in, about 100 hours of work a week. <\/span>I wake up exhausted and, on the rare free day, I can\u2019t even bring myself to go outside and check the mail. <\/span>I just want to lie around in my boxers and drink and not fucking talk to anyone or do anything. <\/span>I\u2019ve come to cherish those dead days \u2013 I gear my overworking to try and make sure I have one dead day for every nine working days. <\/span>(When you have a weekend job, and when you run your own company, the days are no longer measured in weeks.)<\/p>\n

Nevertheless, I\u2019ve carved out time to do things \u2013 small and not so \u2013 over the next few months. <\/span>A Friday afternoon off to drink myself blind with friends, a weekend at a friend\u2019s cabin, four days in New Orleans, a Saturday afternoon tour of a brewery. <\/span><\/p>\n

As much as I hate people, I\u2019m tired of travelling alone, so I\u2019ve attempted to draft friends to accompany me on these mini-vacations. <\/span>A list that\u2019s grown from a select few to much larger numbers as friends invite other friends. <\/span>I\u2019ve also gotten lots of fallout from friends who seem insulted at the invitations\/themes\/whatever. <\/span>Weird and cold responses, which I find disappointing. <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve never been good with people. <\/span>Only child, latchkey kid, crushed by the variety of evils my parents committed. <\/span>Then ten years of chronic pain, which crippled my ability to function socially. <\/span>I\u2019ve had terrible luck with friends, and often feel that those who stick with me just barely tolerate me. <\/span>Much of that, perhaps, is in my head. <\/span>But there have been enough so-called friends in my past who have really fucked me over to make me gun-shy. <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m going through this thing where, after a miracle operation to cure the pain, I feel like I have a new lease on life. <\/span>I also feel like I\u2019ve gone from 21 (when the pain started in earnest) directly to 34, with some sort of big darkness in between. <\/span>This leads to many complications because 34 is nothing like 21. <\/span><\/p>\n

My god, there\u2019s the morning thought as I debate hopping on the first train west: <\/span>My entire adult life has been spent in a haze of pain and the treatment for that pain \u2013 drugs, failed operations\u2026<\/p>\n

Now that I can live like a normal person, I find myself a little unsure of which path to take. <\/span>Embrace adulthood? <\/span>Freak out and run? <\/span>Something needs to change. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I hate this travel bug. Every morning I get off at Union Station in downtown DC and I wonder why I\u2019m going to work. Why not just take off and go? Of course, all the departing trains are going to …<\/p>\n

Travel Bug<\/span> Read More »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,13],"tags":[161],"class_list":["post-102","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-rants","category-wage-slave","tag-travel"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/102","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=102"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/102\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1143,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/102\/revisions\/1143"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=102"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=102"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/greatsociety.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=102"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}