Author Topic: no topic just bored....  (Read 352546 times)

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Offline fajwat

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no topic just bored....
« on: January 25, 2007, 03:10:25 PM »
iguana newswire

Quote
ANTWERP, Belgium (Reuters) - Mozart, an iguana with an erection that has lasted for over a week, will have his penis amputated in the next couple of days.

Veterinarians at Antwerp's Aquatopia had sought to treat the animal's problem, but decided removal was the only solution because of the risk of infection. The good news for Mozart and his mates is that male iguanas have two penises.

Mozart, sitting on the shoulders of his keeper as camera crews focused on his red, swollen erection, seemed unperturbed by the news.

"It doesn't bother him. He doesn't know what amputation means," said vet Luc Lambrecht, adding that Mozart's sexual activity should be undimmed by the operation.

"I don't think so. That's all in his head."
« Last Edit: January 25, 2007, 03:12:09 PM by fajwat »
"If it were up to me I would close Guantánamo not tomorrow but this afternoon... Essentially, we have shaken the belief that the world had in America's justice system... and it's causing us far more damage than any good we get from it."

-Colin Powell

Offline nacho

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Re: no topic just bored....
« Reply #1 on: January 25, 2007, 04:00:07 PM »
That happened to me once.  And the doc was right -- it is all in my head!

Offline fajwat

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Re: no topic just bored....
« Reply #2 on: January 25, 2007, 09:54:08 PM »
i love the vet who explains that the iguana doesn't understand what amptutation means.
"If it were up to me I would close Guantánamo not tomorrow but this afternoon... Essentially, we have shaken the belief that the world had in America's justice system... and it's causing us far more damage than any good we get from it."

-Colin Powell

Offline nacho

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Re: no topic just bored....
« Reply #3 on: January 25, 2007, 10:01:31 PM »
Iguana's have a limited vocabulary.  The only words they really understand are Raaawwwrrr!!!!  and Cooooo....

Dogs, however, do understand a-m-p-u-t-a-t-i-o-n.  Shhh, don't let him see you with the scalpel or he'll never calm down.

Offline fajwat

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Re: no topic just bored....
« Reply #4 on: January 25, 2007, 10:11:52 PM »
and "Hey Beta, be careful of her now!  She's very small."
"If it were up to me I would close Guantánamo not tomorrow but this afternoon... Essentially, we have shaken the belief that the world had in America's justice system... and it's causing us far more damage than any good we get from it."

-Colin Powell

Offline nacho

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Re: no topic just bored....
« Reply #5 on: January 25, 2007, 10:14:44 PM »
and "Hey Beta, be careful of her now!  She's very small."

"Oh, I say.  Quite right.  Thank you for the reminder, old bean.  I would much like a bone now."

Offline Nubbins

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Re: no topic just bored....
« Reply #6 on: January 26, 2007, 11:42:04 AM »
Erections lasting longer than a week should be amputated by a doctor.

8=o tation

Offline fajwat

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Re: no topic just bored....
« Reply #7 on: January 29, 2007, 04:02:09 PM »
Off the top of my head I can think of a handful of families here in the US who would gladly use this law.  Then again, I'm not sure how many happy marriages I've seen up close.

Quote from: reuters
RIYADH, Jan 28 (Reuters Life!) - A Saudi couple have been forced to divorce against their will by a top court because of arcane tribal customs which allowed the woman's family to seek a split, the pair's lawyer said on Sunday.

Abdul-Rahman Al-Lahem said the court had upheld a ruling from a lower court and backed the divorce on the basis of the man's family background.

"The appeals court in Riyadh has supported the divorce because of 'inappropriate lineage'," he said in a statement.

The family of the Saudi woman, called Fatima, began legal action in 2005, saying her husband was not of sufficiently prestigious tribal stock to marry her, and had lied about his tribal background.

The woman and her two children were imprisoned for refusing to return to her family's custody after the lower court first annulled the marriage. Custom in the conservative kingdom requires women to live with their families until marriage.

Saudi Arabia rules by an austere school of Islamic law often termed Wahhabism, and judges in family courts are themselves Wahhabi religious scholars.

Lahem said the ruling contradicted the principles of sharia, Islamic law, which objects to discrimination in terms of color, nationality and race.

The issue was dramatized in a popular comedy show aired in October that ridiculed the idea of tribal superiority, which is still strong in parts of the country.
"If it were up to me I would close Guantánamo not tomorrow but this afternoon... Essentially, we have shaken the belief that the world had in America's justice system... and it's causing us far more damage than any good we get from it."

-Colin Powell

Offline fajwat

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Re: no topic just bored....
« Reply #8 on: January 31, 2007, 09:12:32 AM »
Note that the comparison is between employed policemen and jailed mobsters. 

Quote
SEOUL (Reuters) - South Korean gangsters get more satisfaction from their line of work than the police, according to a survey published on Tuesday in local dailies.

According to the survey conducted among 109 jailed mobsters by the Korean Institute of Criminal Justice, 79.3 percent of gangsters said they were somewhat or very satisfied with their life in organized crime.

About 65 percent of police said they enjoyed their profession, according to a separate survey.

South Korean gangsters make on average about 4 million won ($4,255) a month, which is typically higher than the pay for police.

The criminal justice survey said crime syndicates in South Korea get most of their money through traditional methods such as extortion, prostitution and gambling.

But mobsters have been looking to diversify their operations and are trying to muscle their way into shady stock deals or earn a share of corporate mergers and acquisitions, it said.

($1 = 940.1 Won)

Actually, yeah.  Prostitution's a much more traditional business than policing.
"If it were up to me I would close Guantánamo not tomorrow but this afternoon... Essentially, we have shaken the belief that the world had in America's justice system... and it's causing us far more damage than any good we get from it."

-Colin Powell

Offline fajwat

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Re: no topic just bored....
« Reply #9 on: January 31, 2007, 09:15:06 AM »
Take heart, Nacho!  The Aussies aren't any less loopy.

Quote
SYDNEY, Jan 30 (Reuters Life!) - An Australian psychologist charged with indecently assaulting a patient told a court on Tuesday that forcing his female patient to wear a dog collar and call him master was within a psychologist's ethical guidelines.

Psychologist Bruce Beaton, 64, pleaded not guilty in the Western Australia District Court to four charges of indecently assaulting a 22-year-old woman in 2005, local media reported.

Beaton was arrested when police, who had been secretly video recording the session with the woman, heard whipping sounds, reported Australian Associated Press from the court.

Beaton told the court he resorted to master-servant treatment with his bulimic patient because other methods had failed. He said he thought forcing the woman to wear a dog collar and call him master would build a more trusting relationship.

He said such treatment was allowed by the Australian Psychological Society. "It is right within the ethical guidelines," Beaton told the court.

"I am not saying it would be all right if I hit her. I did not hit her," he said. The trial continues.
"If it were up to me I would close Guantánamo not tomorrow but this afternoon... Essentially, we have shaken the belief that the world had in America's justice system... and it's causing us far more damage than any good we get from it."

-Colin Powell

Offline nacho

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Re: no topic just bored....
« Reply #10 on: January 31, 2007, 09:20:00 AM »
Oh yeah.  We don't even affiliate with the Aust. Psych Association.

Offline fajwat

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Re: no topic just bored....
« Reply #11 on: February 26, 2007, 10:56:12 AM »
New York mass pillow fight (link to video)

-=-=-

mistress newswire

Quote from: reuters
Stand-in mistress sought to take wife's abuse
Mon Feb 26, 2007 8:40 AM ET

BEIJING (Reuters) - A Chinese businessman has advertised on the Internet for a stand-in mistress to be beaten up by his wife to vent her anger and to protect his real mistress, Chinese media reported on Monday.

"When the woman found out her husband had a mistress, she insisted on beating her up," the Beijing Youth Daily said, citing the advertisement posted on a popular online jobs forum on sina.com.

More than 10 people had applied for the job, the newspaper said. The "successful" candidate would be 35 and originally from northeastern China and would be paid 3,000 yuan ($400) per 10 minutes, it said.

Many Chinese businessmen keep mistresses in second homes, a trend banished after the Communists swept to power in 1949 but which has made a comeback with market reforms in recent decades.
"If it were up to me I would close Guantánamo not tomorrow but this afternoon... Essentially, we have shaken the belief that the world had in America's justice system... and it's causing us far more damage than any good we get from it."

-Colin Powell

Offline Reginald McGraw

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Re: no topic just bored....
« Reply #12 on: February 26, 2007, 11:13:05 AM »
Quote from: reuters
Many Chinese businessmen keep mistresses in second homes, a trend banished after the Communists swept to power in 1949 but which has made a comeback with market reforms in recent decades.

I bolded a funny!

Offline fajwat

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Re: no topic just bored....
« Reply #13 on: February 26, 2007, 11:21:26 AM »
well.  that's an awkward wording but I'm socialist and I'd agree Chinese markets could be considered to have undergone changes meant to improve them, although they're associated with the usual greedy capitalist growing pains.
"If it were up to me I would close Guantánamo not tomorrow but this afternoon... Essentially, we have shaken the belief that the world had in America's justice system... and it's causing us far more damage than any good we get from it."

-Colin Powell

Offline Reginald McGraw

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Re: no topic just bored....
« Reply #14 on: February 26, 2007, 11:26:23 AM »
Sorry, I wasn't passing judgment on socialism here.  More laughing at the idea that due to market reforms keeping mistresses is BACK!!