Sleep with Queenie

[nacho]

She's pregnant.

[RottingCorpse]

No she's not you dummy. We just had that scare. All is clear.

[stompakitty]

On this topic, I've been promised porn star sex by my wife tonight for no reason whatsoever. Is there an ulterior motive?

What a wild coincidence! Me too!

Gee… I hope I get to go first...

[jreale]

On this topic, I've been promised porn star sex by my wife tonight for no reason whatsoever. Is there an ulterior motive?

Yeah, she's horny.

[RottingCorpse]

Good enough for me.

Though I would like to take this time to note the weird cycles of horniness women go through.

See, men are horny . . . well, all the time. My wife will go weeks where I can't get any pussy even if I take catnip bath. Then she'll hit a  two week cycle where I can't walk across teh room without getting pulled into some kind of sexual hi-jinks. Then back to not being interested at all.

[stompakitty]

Do you dive? And if so, maybe you're no good at it.

For years I aimlessly roamed around down there with nary a clue. Then one day, when I thought I was being particularly ineffective, stopped and asked for directions. Now I am the master!

Stop the cycle! Become a Pro Diver!

[monkey!]

Is your wife secretly a porn star, or will it be one of those "I used to be a man" nights?

[jreale]

Though I would like to take this time to note the weird cycles of horniness women go through.

So noted.

[RottingCorpse]

Though I would like to take this time to note the weird cycles of horniness women go through.

So noted.

I ws sort of passive/agressively digging for an explanation, Devourer of Children.

[jreale]

I know.

[RottingCorpse]

 . . . .

So . . .  is it because I didn't ask directly or is the idea of horniness cycles just that asinine and misogynist of an observation?

[nacho]

Women are always horny.  The down "cycle" you describe is her inner struggle to not be a horny slut, because society says that's bad.  The dam then breaks and she starts around talking about porn star sex before the guilt drives her, again, to a no-sex cycle.

The up cycle comes whenever you make her feel bad for not putting out, such as sitting in a chair, scratching your balls, drinking wine out of a box and loudly declaring your cycle theory, full of pregnant pauses and suggestive glares.

[RottingCorpse]

So, you're saying I need to try harder?

[stompakitty]

So the obvious solution would be to completely remove your woman from society, thereby eliminating the stigma. Or you could just share that box of wine with her.

I swear to God, the next motherfucker who walks past my cube whistling “Jingle Bells” is getting punched in the neck!

My 40th post… Who's leg do I have to hump to get more stars?

[jreale]

Women are always horny.  The down "cycle" you describe is her inner struggle to not be a horny slut, because society says that's bad.  The dam then breaks and she starts around talking about porn star sex before the guilt drives her, again, to a no-sex cycle.

The up cycle comes whenever you make her feel bad for not putting out, such as sitting in a chair, scratching your balls, drinking wine out of a box and loudly declaring your cycle theory, full of pregnant pauses and suggestive glares.

Or, we're just messing with you.